Life — August 21, 1924 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Geyser Baths (From Our London Correspondent) ] HAVE. found, since living in Eng- that much English history taught in our American schools is wrong. For instance, take the little tter of the Wars of the Roses. It seems that a member of the radi- Red faction ter January day, that people really ght to have steam heat. Well, every in England, except the leaders of Red Rose group, was stunned for veral minutes. Then the White Rose ction snorted. They declared that no glishman had ever had steam cat, and so why in the name of George should any truce English- nan ever have steam heat Whereupon the Red Roses got stub- mn and the started. It lasted ver thirty years. But there's an end » everything, and finally the two fac- ns compromised. It was agreed that team heat could be dispensed with; t it was also agreed that a little hot fr, now and then, was a good ic The servant question had become a ty, and it was pretty stiff work to land, Rose suggested, one war suade the menials to carry several ickets of water from the moat, heat em in the kitchen, and then fill the tub in the turret, You see, Feudalism was on the wane, and serf-bathing was eginning to be a luxury. So finally a cally energetic chap invented the r Bath. The Geyser Bath,—and, by the way, itis pronounced “geezer” in England, Ithough I should hate to go to Yellow- tone Park and ask any one to show me the Old Faithful: geezer—the Geyser Bath,to resume, is a fiendish arrangement suspended over your tub. It is a large CRAB MEAT road Vee ‘He By a fi fi ay Husband: vOREMAN OR NO FOREMAN, I'VE iler, with a gus-flame dingus under it and a needlessly long nozzle protruding from it. However, it is quite simple to manage, as First, you light the gas, after a long search for the tap that turns it on. Then turn on the water, which begins to trickle in’ a thin’ stream into the tub. Then you sit quictly in a corner and read “The Outline of His- tory” from cover to cover. When you have finished it, you find that your tub is nearly half-full. But the gas is out. as you have forgotten to drop a shil- ling in the meter. So all you have to do is to dress and go out to get a half-crown changed, having no_ shil- lings in the house. When the gas is safely lighted again, and hot water is trickling forth, you resume your reading. Hesitating—as who wouldn’t?—to read the Outline again, you pick up a novel by Ethel M. Dell. Just before it drives you crazy, you discover the tub is full and much too hot. So you turn off the gas and I shall now show you you A MIND TO GO IN 'N’ ASK FER ME SUPPER. let in some cold water. At this point a maid walks in on you, as you have neglected to lock the door, and by the time you have hidden behind a towel and persuaded her to leave, too much cold water has run in. Then all you have to do is to light the geyser again. At the end of a week you emerge, greatly refreshed, except for a blister on the base of your spine, where the geyser suddenly spat at you for no good reason just as you were climbing out of the tub. However, drink the real thing here, publicly and cheapl James Dyrenforth. you can The Right Direction ALICE: Dick proposed so suddenly it made me jump. Virctnta: At it? SENATOR is very often a man who has risen from obscurity to something worse. comicbooks.com