Life — July 3, 1924 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MAN WHO PAINTS FLAG-POLES FOR A LIVING TAKES A DAY OFF 'RIEND (accusingly): I didn't see you in church last Sunday. Gotrer: No, I couldn't go. It didn’t rain. - LIFE - In Lovers’ Grove N Lovers’ Grove, begemmed with dew And drenched with sunlight from the blue, The dryad trees laugh low, and sigh, And nod to me, as I pass by, A greeting such as Pan once knew. Coquettes and Dulcineas true, They have, withal, their failings few, Which I, perfection’s slave, decry In Lovers’ Grove. The willow weeps; askance, I view The evergreen’s symbolic hue; I pine not for the pine, and I The maple’s timid blush eschew. Plane trees and spruce alike I fly To find the one, the only Yew, In Lovers’ Grove. Jack Burroughs, Little Johnny's Glorious Fourth As He Imagined It 6 A.M.—A giant cracker, bringing in the new day. 8 A.M.—Toy pistol practice and Wild West combat with the back-yard gang. 9 A.M.—Visits to the homes of nerv- ous neighbors with crackers and hissers. 10 A.M.—Grand Parade. 11 A.M.—Endurance contest in smok- ing punk. —Lunch in the picnic grove: four hardboiled eggs, two ham sandwiches, six bananas, cheese, and more crackers. 2 P.M.—Listening to the eagle scream in the hands of the honor- able orator. 4 P.M.—Special daredevil exhibition of fireworks in order to arouse awe and admiration among the small girls around the corner. 8 P.M.—Skyrockets, sparklers, foun- tains, Roman candles, etc. 9 P.M—A giant cracker, closing the great day. 12 M. As It Really Happened 6 A.M —A giant cracker, bringing in the new day. 6:10 A.M.—An ambulance, bringing in little Johnny. W. L. Werner. Bedtime Story NCE upon a time there was a man who was disgusted with the ornate names given to perfumes and toilet waters, and the elaborate ads. devised to win for them a feminine public. “These prettified names and these hokum ads. are an insult to the intelli- gence of women,” said the man who was disgusted. “I shall manufacture a perfume with a simple name, and I shall confine my advertising to the Customer: THIS STUFF? WHY WON'T YOU DRINK YOU MUST BE SUSPICIOUS oF IT, Bartender: ov, No, IT ISN'T THAT. 1 JUST HAPPEN TO BELIEVE IN OBEYING THE Law. briefest announcement of its produc- tion, and the money that I save in this way I shall use to make the perfume better than any other perfume now on the market.” So when he was approached for ad- vertising, he said, “I do not insult the intelligence of women,” and the money he saved in this way he used to make his perfume the best on the market. And in less than six months he was in bankruptcy. Moral: The best sellers are always fiction. Bertram Bloch. Possibility (While Waiting for the Ferry) “I SEE they are putting a new tunnel under the Hudson. What's the big idea?” “I think they have some notion of connecting New York with the outside world.” RUE: Is she a confirmed smoker? Sue: Gracious, yes! You should see her drop ashes on the floor! comicbooks.com