Life — July 3, 1924 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suggested Days "TARE Easy Day. Non-Boosting Day. Don't-Get-Excited Day. Let-Us-Have-No-Parade Day. Be-Yourself Day. Nothing-in-Particular Day. Don't-Be-a-Nuisance Day. Back-to-Normal Day. Good-Old-Days Day, Cc. G. S. The Passionate Lawyer to His Love HEREAS, it has pleased Provi- dence to bestow upon Agnes Stanley, spinster, age 20, various and sundry charms, beauties, graces, at- tractions and other engaging qualities of such a nature as to arouse affection, to wit, blue eyes, golden hair, cherry lips, peachy cheeks, saucy nose, and shapely figure; and Wuenreas, said spinster, hereinafter referred to as Dearest, has permitted visits, calls, escortings to dances, teas, receptions, picnics and other various and sundry occasions, to George Breef Case, bachelor, age 27, for becoming acquainted with Dearest, thereby tak- ing cognizance of Dearest's charms, beauties, graces and attractions here- inbefore mentioned, and other valuable considerations, together with qualities alleged by said Case to be mental gifts, virtues, accomplishments; and Wuenreas, Dearest has been in re- ceipt of, and has accepted as in good condition, divers boxes, packages, par- cels, et cetera, containing or said to contain flowers, books, sheet music, phonograph records, candies and bon bons; and Wuereas, said attorney holds in per- petual tenure certain letters written by Dearest on violet stationery violently perfumed, and attests to having par- ticipated with Dearest in protracted hand-squeezings, and avows no less than nine kisses in the moonlight; and Wuereas, said Case has at various times urged Dearest to agree to trans- fer, assign and convey in fee simple her heart and hand, together with her per- sonal belongings and knickknacks to said Case, notwithstanding which ap- peals, pleadings, representations, she has thus far withheld a satisfactory answer; and Wuenreas, said solicitor hereby claims and alleges that six months is ample TAKING A MESSAGE TO GARCIA AS THEY WOULD DO IT IN THE MOVIES time in which to make up one’s mind, and that further negotiations and de- lays are unnecessary; now therefore be it Resotven, that George Breef Case and Agnes Stanley be immediately declared betrothed, with intent to become man and wife at the earliest possible moment. Lawton Mackall. The Mother Tongue IRST Fam Basepatt Fan: you just love hot dogs? Srconp Farr Fan: Yes; aren't they the cat's! Don't TRure is stranger than fiction; in fact, to most people, it's a total stranger, Noted European Exhibits AN American gentleman overtipping a French waiter. An English steward mixing a round of Orange Blossoms. An American lady discovering a dressmaker’s establishment in the rue de la Paix. A Portuguese antique dealer welcom- ing an American profiteer. A Czecho-Slovak fund-raiser accost- ing a very young American. Two American college boys overcome by Italian Vermouth. A Spanish hotel clerk presenting the bill to a departing American family. A Scotch golf links crowded with young, old and middle-aged Americans. A Swiss shop window displaying the sign: “English Spoken.” comicbooks.com