Life, 1924-06-26 · page 14 of 37
Life — June 26, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains two distinct pieces: **"At Last!"** satirizes the then-new telephone technology installed in retail shops. The humor targets customer complaints about store policies—slow service, credit limits, dress codes, soap samples. The joke is that businesses now have "answer machines" for customer questions, implying that constant complaints have made automated responses necessary. It's satirizing both consumer entitlement and commercial frustration. **"Admiring Sea-Captain"** is a caption cartoon showing three figures near water. One says the lad "makes a fine first mate," suggesting nautical adventure or coming-of-age themes common in period literature and boys' fiction. The page also includes Dorothy Parker's poem "Ballade at Thirty-five," reflecting on romantic disappointment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ATHEIST At Last! “answer questions,” we learn from a ABINE reliable source, are being i S which alled in shops and hotels. Customers will have to do no more than press a_butto: mn will be given by the teleph and the desired inform ope W business. Why doesn’t the store ever carry my size in anythin, tor in charge of the apparatus. e have a list all ready for the minute one is open for Why do clerks always try to tell me that what I abs ly don’t want is being worn by everybody this season? That's no inducement.” “Why must I repeat my we and ad dress twenty-two (average computa tion) times? Why can't my credit be extended in- definitely 2” “Why can I never get a room for less than ten dollars a day?” ‘Why must room keys resemble that of the city presented to a distingui visitor, or that of the Bastille “Why are there soap in the bathroom instead of one hed ur pieces of sample piece of he-sized soap?” “Why aren't the chambermaids bet- ter-looking ?” “Why won’ operator go to dinner with me?” Henry William Hanemann. Ses (on LO that blond telephone the feminine of suspicion. Admiring Sca-Captain: Brow Me! BUT THAT LAD’S GOT THE MAKI Ballade at Thirty-five HIS, no song of an ingenue, This, no t This, the rhyme Followed ever This, a solo of sapience, This. a chantey of sophistry, This, the sum of experiments,— natural bents. I loved them until they loved me. Decked in garments of sable hue, Daubed with ashes of myriad L Wearing shower bouquets of rux Walk I ever in penitence. Oft I roam, as my heart repents, Through God’s acre of memory, Marking gravestones, in reverence, “I loved them until they loved me. Pictures pass me in long review,— Marching columns of dead events, I was tender, and, often, true; Ever a prey to coincislence. Always knew I Always saw what the end would be. We're what Nature has ma I loved them until they loved me. he consequence; us—hence L'En: Princes, never I'd give offense, Won't you think of me tenderly Here’s my strength and my weakness, gents,— I loved them until cy loved me Dorothy Parker, this a progressive town, Uncle?” I kain’t get me a game of checkers since the boys down to the fire house have took to playing that pesky Mah Jong!” ed p 0 dad. eSsiVE lecent A FINE FIRST MATE, comicbooks.com