Life, 1924-05-29 · page 10 of 38
Life — May 29, 1924 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate items: **"The Sailor Ashore"** is a cartoon featuring two stenographers in a downtown office building. The joke plays on a miscommunication: a sailor asks for directions to "New York," and one stenographer mishears it as "New Dork," leading to comedic confusion about what he's actually looking for. **"An Ounce of Intention"** is a poem by Billie King describing the devastating impact of foot-and-mouth disease on livestock and farm animals. The poem catalogs losses—dead hogs, sheep, cattle, pets, and poultry—expressing the speaker's anguish and desire for revenge ("I long to place my fingers o'er Each slaverer's throat"). **"The Drama in Jonesville"** discusses a new theater building in what appears to be a small American town, with commentary on its architectural significance and cultural impact.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
An Ounce of Intention THs foot and mouth disease—or scare— Has widely spread Hogs, sheep and cattle everywhere Are lying dead. Inspectors came—I saw them scowl— They spied my cat I heard a bang! Puss gave a yowl! And that was that! The dog I loved, and highly prized. Was rudely slain. A wee pet lamb was sacrificed. My tears were vain They entered in—despite my rage And then, by heck! d my canary from its cage, And wrung its neck! a pig with young « A brindle pup, And pink-eyed rabbits by the score Were offered up. Some goldfish in a bowl somehow Got overlooked They poured quicklime upon my cow— My goose was cooked ! I long to place my fingers o'er Each slayer’s throat! L hope this Plague will end before They get my go . Advice to This Summer's American Tourist D‘' ) not mistake the he: d deck-steward ~ for the tain of the ship, nor tip the latter instead of the headwaiter THB IELILORGASHORS in the & la carte section of the dining First Stenographer (on thirty-seventh floor of downtown office building): wiwya saloon : yf dowmtovon: office: buslaing Do not (after six wecks in Paris) Go TO CONEY WITH YOUR SHEIK SUNDAY LIKE VA WAS GONNA, MARGE? (éiguite speak Ehgiishy wiih) al saarked nd St grapher: VL SAY 1 DID. SAY, YOU'P OUGHT TO GO UP IN THAT FERRIS French accent SEER OS oY OU/GET ASWELL VIEW Do not regard a London supper club f z 4 as British product—with its The Drama in Jonesville its Lithuanian wait = that flood of white light in the scat you have to eat dov wn and . its American patrons, its Spanish ext block? That's the N din line for.an hour, The man and its Ethiopian jazz band Paradise Theatre, Jonesville is proud’ agement. guarantees pure alr, water not believe every Rus ncer of that. The citizens bought a million correct x, aesthetic decorations, a to be a prince or princess in disgu dollars’ worth of stock in the building nursery for children, a smoking room Do not—as a sportive gesture—lose and it cost at least half that much. for men and two for women, Italian all y h at roulette at one of the There was some talk at the time about — Renaissance lounges, a symphony or nable casinos. what became of the other half but — chestra, an operatic tenor and an in Do not think that everything is Jonesville is too public-spirited to allow —terpretive dancer. And, of course, first- risqué because it is French any carping criticism, run films. Do not—upon your return trip—pre | “The New Paradise Theatre stands “The old Op'ra House didn't offer a tend that you are visiting America for | on the site of the old Op'ra House that thing but Edwin Booth, Edwin Forrest, the first time in your life. was dedicated to the drama and seated Fanny Davenport, Clara Morris, and Do not write home postcards an- | five hundred, The New Paradise holds Richard Mansfield.” nouncing the current price of whisky } five times as many and if you want a McC. H. in Scotland. CLG | | = comicbooks.com