Life, 1924-05-01 · page 37 of 40
Life — May 1, 1924 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **two distinct elements**: a satirical letter about warfare and a hair-loss advertisement. ## The "Raise the Standard!" Satire The letter mocks post-WWI enthusiasm for "bigger and better wars." The author sarcastically argues that war provides excitement to dull industrial life—workers marching with flags instead of tending looms. He proposes absurd "football rules" for future conflicts (touchdowns for destroying regimes, etc.), with Grover Cleveland and ex-Kaiser Wilhelm as officials. The satire targets jingoism and nostalgia for wartime nationalism that emerged after World War I. It's darkly ironic—presenting warmongering as obviously ridiculous by taking it to logical extremes. ## The Van Ess Hair Treatment Advertisement The ad promises hair regrowth based on pseudoscience: claiming 91% of baldness stems from "infected sebum" (scalp oil), not actual root death. It offers a money-back guarantee and claims 300,000 men have tested it. **Context**: Early 20th-century patent medicines routinely made unsubstantiated health claims. This represents typical advertising of that unregulated era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a good humor ar hostilities Scoring of points would be restricted to the following Wiping out an entire keep the unul the tators in regime Burning a vi dren—touchdown Destruction of force—h run. Appoint Grover as Referee and ex-Kaiser Umpire. In the eve any compet natic would be played over pute occurred be the Referee Umpire the opposing teams would ¢ card all rules and employ tactics. This would obviate sity for cheating on the side ALAND CLAY 31S Pe sf ng, Wisconsin Wy Ih any neces lines. Milwaukee, Raise the Standard! Biccer and Better Wars what we all want. The 1 that war is a curse is the bunk. Unadulterated War liberates kinds of stifl x tions; puts color a venture back into the world. You're running a power loom day after day a lint-filled room. Suddenly you're o on the marching to. the roll ¢ drums, and flags are wavi and the sun is shining nd th ds are cheering. Cheering you! You're man, a tired, overworked You've sent your son to the front You're somebody at and the nf sacrifice the news applau nd better w them, That's street woman. We'll have just so long as h peace holds in Keep it on the usual Keep the machines the housewives scrubbing, the clerks scrivening. Slam the door on color, music, leisure and art. Stand- ardize the job, standardize the schools, standardize the movi Hold ‘em! wrist linked to wrist, kr t to knee, and so God knows, be the will always be Better Wars! them, plenty war lets out that w So my plan is, de too interesting humdrum grine ent level ¢ ber ready { A Holy War Reainp ministers of the since their recruiting duty in war they have idledly otic. Of ¢ dreds are France at wor children’s throats in the Ruhr serving praise—but the return preachers to strictly rel sern inde spel that the unpatri urgit and powder dividends might smen have simply got to site Then, too, we seem mperceptibly but’ surely for our one-time foes What would Abe Lir lon't these reverend gentlemen T suggest ten thousand up- s next Sunday aS at us a bear of r. looking in 1917. W at have they to fear? May we young men. once rippers of bowels, dare to hope Gosh, I'm just crazy for some blood. HN T. ACKERSON, Closter, N. J. losing n say? LIFE yet 4 Men in 7 35 Only 9 Men in 100 Need Ever Be Bald Costs Nothing uoless we grow hair. The Vas Es reatment is aranteed, You are the sole judge. The warrant is given by your own dealer. If it fails, we refund ye ney. Hence you assume 2g Are Bald at 40 \— This Must Grow Hair or Your Money Refunded solute money-back ss treatm Under 91 heads in 100, Thisis to offer you, u' guarantee, the new Van I actual test, it grew hair on Our proposition is simple. gives the guarantee with each 3-bottle pur- chase. You take hance of | Either you grow hair or the treatment cost othing. Over 300,000 men have made this test in the last two years, Hair Roots Rarely Die Records show that 4 men in 7 at 40. Yet science nin 100 need ever be bal orp . It is merely a symptom: of an infectious scalp oil, know Remove this in in about 90% of al partial baldness. This new me the roots. It makes hair grow. Experiments of years prove i heads in 100, F st authorities < World noted derm $300.00 for the We offer it, i more t the pric The Infected Sebum Ninety per cent of all hair troubles are traced to infected Seb is an oil that forms at the roots of the h. natural function is to supply the hair d hair will grow cases of fall ¢ basic treatment. easy to.ape ply. One minute each day is enough. But often it cakes on the scalp. It fe place for bacteria. It cl It lodges in hair follicles rms by the Semi nes total bal on you when you reme This is scienti tell you so. a home treatment fic way ats the removes it. Results are marked. 1 the top of each pac Read it first be you buy. ote ss. } you be the 3- ler gives you th 64 BE. Kinzie Street VAN ESS LABORATORIES, 64 E. Kinzie St., Chicago, 3 P M comicbooks.com