Life — April 3, 1924 — page 56: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Those who have crossed before choose their ship with care. 2 N accommodations and in service I e de luxe steamers Resolute, Reliance, Albert Ballin, Deutschland commend themselves to the most dis- criminating. The splendid one-class cabin. steamers Cleveland, Hansa, ‘Thuringia, Westphalia, Mount Clay offer appreciated economies witho sacrifice of comfort. Frequent sailings from NewYork to Cherbourg, South- ampton, Hamburg, with excellent rail connection to all parts of Europe. 2 For full sailing schedule and descrip- tive bookiet E L apply to UNITED AMERICAN LINES 39 Broadway, New York 1c1 W. Randolph Street, Chicago 230 California Street, San Francisco UNITED AMERICAN LINES (HARRIMAN LI joint service with HAMBURG AMERICAN LINE + LIFE - TO EUROPE— LONDON, NAPLES, ROME, PARIS, FLORENCE, POMPEII, VERSAILLES, French and American Battlefields 30 to 80 days of delightful travel. An unusual unity for you to see, at moderate cost, eh that the Old World offers. For as little as $425. This sum includes all traveling, living and ordinary sightseeing expenses. er tours up to $1100. Gates Tours are planned by skilled experts with over 30 years of suc- cessful experience in giving their patrons com- fort and convenience combined with economy. Write today for booklet N18. Sailings from May to September with a range of tours from 30 to 80 days. GATES TOURS—Founded 1892 World Travel at Moderate Cost” 225 Fifth Avenue, New York Paris London Rome Relief Coughs Use PISO'S — this prescription quickly relieves children and adults. ¢ A pleasant syrup. No opiates. 35 and OOF sizes sold everywhere The Modern Lullaby Tur. general hatred of alarm clocks is due to persistence of the idea that alarm clocks are meant to get you out of bed. This is, of course, ridiculous; they don't do any such thing. If you really have to get up at a certain time, don't ask the alarm clock for help; sim- ply fix an hou it comes round there waiting for it. in your mind and when 1 will find you are This is the way, because you creep up on it; if you sure have eight o'clock on your mind, you will come at it gradually by waking up first at 4:00, then again at 5:00, then at 5:45, then at 6:30, then at 7:00, then at 7:20, then at 7:30, then at 7:35, and so forth, until, when eight o'clock comes, you will more than likely be half- shai We Connoisseurs of Sleep use. the alarm clock not for waking up but for ving to sleep; from long experience we have observed that it is not the sleep be fore midnight that exalts a man, but the sleep after he has put one of those alarm clocks out of business. Thus, we commonly store the clock away during the week and use it as a luxury on Sun- days and holidays. A point which we Connoisseurs are still divided is whether it is nobler to get up and shut the thing off or to let it run down, This is a small matter, but it is well to have the procedure fixed in your mind beforehand; other wise you may vacillate and wake up. There are various other questions which the Order has taken up at one time or another, the most noteworthy being the investigation to find out the exact instant at which these clocks reach their maximum efficiency. You must know at just what hour to set it or the effect will be lost; if you set it too early the effect will be ruined from lack of subtlety; if you set it too la! you will wake up first. No definite con- clusion has yet been reached; the an swer is probably that every one must work it out to suit his individual taste. We true disciples of Morpheus on Sat urday nights customarily set our cloc! about 6:30 or 7:00, and go to bed with enthusiasm, knowing full well that when the machine explodes it is nothing more than a clarion call telling us that we have just begun to sleep. BL F. If Ip I were a famous illustrator— I'd never draw a pretty girl for a maga- zine cover, I'd never draw a college man in a high- ry BEST BOOKS r THE BEST MOVING PICTURES of 1922-1923 and the YEAR BOOK OF THE AMERICAN SCREEN Also WHO'S WHO IN THE MOVIES Edited by ROBERT E. SHERWOOD Silent Orama Editor of LIFE $2.50 net é SMALL MAYNARD COMPANY + PuRLITUrRs| A Stenographer-Mother’s Philosophy Aut day I take their silly talk it into little signs, and make And then I take the little signs and change them back to silly tal And for this silly, silly task knows why they Want it done— and God They pay me gold, dear, precious gold, with which I buy you bread and milk, And then you cat the bread and milk and make it into rosy cheeks, And then I take the rosy cheeks—and plant a kiss on this, on that. And then you laugh and snuggle close and heaven is very near to us; And that is why God lets men make their silly, silly endless talk Alysia. “Wonbekrut, isn’t it, the number of mobiles one sees? es, and mighty fortunate.” THANK heaven, life is not so tragic as it appears in the comic strips An Easy Way to Remove Dandruff If you want plenty of thick, beautiful, silky hair, do by all means get f dandruff, for it will starve your hair and ruin it if don't The best wa: get rid of dandruff is to dissolve just apply a little | Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use cnough to moisten the scalp, and rub it in today for free to. P. ton book and Hecord ention blank. Seed sketch of model for personal opinion. CLARENCE A ORIEN. Registered Patent Lawyer, “10r-B. Becurity Savings &'Coml Hapk Bid'g.. directly acrom st. from Patent Office, Washington, D.C. neck sweater, I'd always read a story before I did the illustrations for it, I'd admit that at least a few Art Edi- tors know something about art, | OF BRAINS . ; oe And occasionally I'd pronounce “ar without a capital “a.” =MADE AT KEY WEST— A. gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and three or four more applications should completely re- move every sign and trace of it You will find, too, that all itching of the Ip will stop, and your hair will look and feel a hundred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug store. A four- ounce bottle is usually all that is needed The R. L. Watkins Co., Cleveland, Ohio FOR _g MEN t draw at all. C.M. A, Jr | comicbooks.com