Life — February 28, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WINTER SPORTS IF THERE WERE SUCH A THING AS KINDLING CUTTER CHAMPION, MR. BOGGS WOULD BE IT, IN A TWO-HOUR SESSION HE HAS SUCCEEDED IN CUTTING THE MINIMUM AMOUNT REQUIRED TO IGNITE THE COAL WHEN BUILDING A NEW FIRE IN THE FURNACE, A FEAT ABSOLUTELY UNPRECEDENTED IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SPORT MR. BOGGS IS HEAD STATISTICIAN OF A FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY, AND RECENTLY CITED STATISTICS TO SHOW THAT NINETY PER CENT. OF ALL FIRES ARE CAUSED BY THE DROPPING OF SMOLDERING CIGARETTES ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOORS OF FACTORIES. Ns Rep Diary twitter to try out the new gin which February walk across the town, and — he did finally bring himself to concoct 2st on Madison Avenue I did So he mixed up a drink, but the taste behold a load of hay, a reof was so vile that I was at some Up betimes, and out to sight Whereupon | made a wish asp strange indeed s to retain my physical composure in my childhood days and looked about — after the first sip. And upon my de Lord! that ra thing to encounter so I gave up at once....T a publick with B. Russell of Boston, and me for a white horse, but mend for the formula and a glimps« that the mist had sold him glycerine mixed were even stra of the ingredients, it came ot luncheon at with rose water and the zany had not she hath solved the — marked it at problem: by she tells me how sery setting up an old hom of her The Washington, on which | always underge f the stomach born of re maids being hday of George February 22nd tain sinking almost an octogenarian and too feeble to bear trays aloft save in the house eleva a cer- tor. But that, methinks nor will there be a flawless one, is no solution, neither, — membering the sick excitement which of Robots. this day. all a- big prevailed among the players before the basketball Smith do get a race home unless we Samuel carly annual game at Down with the Chinese Invasion! AST Wind, West Wind, Winds of no direction, North Wind, South Wind— Quite a large selection Mah Jong’s crazy, Pung Chow's worse, Both fool names For a Chinese curse Red Dragon, White Draj Build the Chinese Wall Sooner or later The Bug gets ‘em all Sis says it's “subtle Father says it's “fir And even dear M Calls it “divine Pick up a Sparrow from the bottom of the Sea, You get the on me; 1 suffer in hamboo, the drinks are silence this pother and pidge The while game of Bridge! Down my heart yearns for a g¢ with th Newspaper Niobes ISITOR: | all of the typewriters in this room can't understand why are so rusty Eprtor: This is the lady reporters write their sob stuff room where our College. 1 thought, too, of the long list of Washingtonian precepts which I learned years ago, only one of which remains w me now—Never gaze about while drinking....Stopped at home all this day, meditating the error of my ways, and resolving to assemble the I cult business, and the only beginning I se ends of my existence, a diffi: could make was to get out the towels I began to embroider six ago When I did speak of my good inten tions to Sam, he vouchsafed his willing- years ness to lead a more godly and righteous life but not sober one. And suddenly, whilst reading in The Amer- ican Mercury, he let out a shout that editorial justice would at last be done (Continued on page 32) a more comicbooks.com