Life, 1924-02-14 · page 22 of 36
Life — February 14, 1924 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is satirical commentary on California real estate salesmen during the early 20th century. The title—Latin for "Those about to die salute you"—sets a darkly comic tone about the perils of buying property in California. The piece mocks aggressive realtors who aggressively pursue potential buyers, each claiming to have the "perfect" property. The humor comes from the absurdly inflated descriptions ("Olympus Heights—between Hollywood and Heaven") paired with actual high prices and obvious drawbacks (properties on steep grades, inaccessible due to tourist crowds, or owned by people fleeing the state). The accompanying image, "Cupid's Roundup," shows a cowboy on horseback lassoing a figure while another person stands with a bicycle—likely a visual pun on realtors "roping in" or corralling unwilling buyers. The satire targets the exaggeration and high-pressure tactics of California real estate marketing, suggesting that buying property there is financially dangerous—hence "morituri" (the dying).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE - “Morituri in California Te Salutamus” who have come to the te te dic, the real biggest hurdle. O all those persor notorious Californ Cl If you get n survive anything, and the Native California has over him need have no terrors for you two kinds of weather—fine and unusual. It has but one kind of realtor. Unfortunately he is neither Lam in the market for a modest little home,” I told the ed me off the st powerful realtor in the crowd, as he y step of the Pullman, grabbed my bags, and threw them Something small, you know; just a little his Rolls-Royce place that one can die in comfortably.” I know just what you want,” he said. “I've got the best buy in Southern California—Olympus Heights—between Hollywood and Heaven’—lovely Italian Villa done in Span ish Style with Old) English gab climate, tractive thing— fertility and scene perfect—property going up all the time—straight up the mountain—four hundred dollars a iront foot—steep, because of the grade.” I called nd had him held ape another realtor pounced on me policeman As I was about to I'm in the market 1 began. “Know just what you want.” he panted, dragging me up the street to where a Cadillac limousine waited, em bellished with the gang mark of the Realtors’ and Y Southern Califo “Best buy in Southern California—Parnassus Place—little mens’ Protective Assoc m oof French chateau—patio in back—patio-de-foie-gras growing all over the lawn—palms, oranges, ripe figs, six master bedrooms, seven baths; one for every day in the week fertilit and scene perfect—can't sce it now because my agent's got three hundred tourists up there and you can’t get near the lovely view of the ocean and mountains—climate place on account of the crowd—dirt cheap at $54,500— property worth six hundred a front foot—sign here I pleaded with him to be allowed to buy a couple of back fect. Tears came pocketbook nto my eyes, and I laid my hand on my He took it away from me and threw me out of the car cd me into his off A realtor picked me up and dra “Know just what you want,” he insisted, brushing me off “Got just the place ior a young man who's come to California to spend his last dollars—I mean days south of Best buy Nome—inexpensive little thing—Renaissance balconies, Back-Bay mbs—African jungle in back surrounding Patagonian pagoda—best Damascus blades Period with Venetian blinds, Me windows and early Neolithic door of grass—lovely view—owner came out here to die but had to go back East to live—couldn’t afford it $37,321, including war tax.” great bargain at I tried other realtors later, but they were all the same I have now a clear choice of a Crusades Period tent, fur- nished in the Early ( pids, or a public mortuary Weed Dickinson CUPID'S ROUNDUP comicbooks.com