Life, 1924-01-31 · page 10 of 36
Life — January 31, 1924 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous domestic narrative about an actress attempting to manage household responsibilities. The story follows her day from morning (8 a.m.) through afternoon, chronicling comic mishaps: a wrong telephone number, neglected breakfast, a maid's poor work, and an ultimately failed attempt at housekeeping. The accompanying sketch depicts a domestic scene with what appears to be a doctor visiting. The caption reads: "Will you guarantee to cure me, doctor?" "If you live long enough." The satire targets the common stereotype of actresses as impractical and incompetent at domestic tasks—unable to manage the "real world" of housekeeping despite their professional capabilities. The piece presents household management as more challenging than theatrical work.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE - An Actress Keeps House By Patricia Collinge A. M.—Wakens. Decides to get up and breakfast with 12:05 r. M.—Actress leaves house. Starts to walk uptown. husband. Remembers she needs dish towels. Turns off and enters 9:30—Is reawakened by telephone. Wrong number. Looks department store. En route to dish towels passes sale of out of window. Beautiful day. Decides to get up at chintz. Mentally redecorates entire apartment. Looks at once, get the marketing done, walk uptown, go to dentist. chintz. The blue would be lovely, but she couldn't use 10—Gets up. Decides to dress at once, walk uptown, ete. the green table. The mauve would go with the green 10:30—Eats breakfast in negligee. Reads “The Conning able—but she hates birds. That rose is wonderful but—. Tower,” “It Seems to Me,” the announcements of the new s at clock, drops chintz, rushes out, hails taxi. plays. Wonders why on carth they got that woman for 30—Arrives at Henri’s. Friend not there the part. Makes note to send her a telegram of good x Friend arrives. So sorry, awfully delayed, but there wishes opening night. Husband calls up. Decides not to ‘a much to do in the h meet him for lunch, as she is going to lunch uptown, go 3 th dieting. Order si lunch: Creamed to dentist, and ought to diet anyway chocolate, brioche with jam—no pastry. Discuss why #/ 11—Best friend calls up. Discuss why they got that woman woman got the part. Arrange to go together to openi for the part. Decide to walk uptown together. 30—Finish pastry 11:30—Dressed. Maid asks about dinner. Actress’s mind 38—Leave Henri’s. Actress decides to go to dentist. becomes blank, Says she will go to market and send the 39—Decides not to go to dentist things home. Doesn't approve of telephoning—lazy—and :45—Meets Frances. Isn't it a ly day? Why don't you don't get the best things. Remembers that her best they all come in and play bridge? They do. friend orders by telephone and glows mentally. Maid is 5:05—Suddenly remembers marketing. Calls up husband. not so impressed as she should be Husband agrees to have dinner uptown for a change Starts to leave for market. Remembers has to wait $:15—Goes back to rubber. Agrees that it’s simply Waits. wonderful to keep house but that it does tie one dot 12—Friend telephones, So sorry—some one called—had to 12:30 a. M.—Decides to get up early next morning, can't walk uptown—meet at Henri’s at one. marketing, walk uptown go to the dentist “WILL YOU GUARANTEE TO CURE ME, DOCTOR?” “IP YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH.” comicbooks.com