Life — January 24, 1924 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Wreck of the T. B. M. I! was a tired business man In the seat in front of me And he hath taken his little d To keep him company Blue were her eyes as the sky in May, And her hair like gold in the sun And ever her gentle voice flowed on Like the brook which 1s never de The bright-eyed maiden cricd Tis Stamford-town, my ang The kind-faced man “And what come Don't jump upon the sea And what comes after that The cherub asked again Tis ys Cob next | heard “Don't lick the window panc And what comes after that?” she cried *And what comes after that? Tis Greenwich next.” the father groaned You're sitting on my hat “And what comes after thet?” she screamed And laughed in childish plec But the father answered never a word For a hopeless loon was he A hopeless loon in a padded cell Who sits ¢ an old rush mat And ever moans to the passers-by “And what comes after that? George S. Chappell Roused early by* Jack White, come with a January 17th it that whoever took the good news from Ghent to Aix would have been a tranquil being beside him. present for me, and so full of excitement over Small wonder, however, for it was a contrivance which gets the maximum of fruit juice with a minimum of effort, and the mechanism so delighted Samuel that he used up every srange and lemon in the house before anyone marked him If his zeal continue, I must set about getting him the demon stration rights in department. stores. Such an_ inventi solves a domestic problem before whi many a faithful servant falters these days, and now if our men of science would concentrate on ridding citrous fruit of all seeds, the world would, indeed, be a better place. Lord! Such a matter is of greater import, methinks, than the theory of Relativity or the weak spots in the Nicene Creed Sat next a man at dinner this ht whose serious small talk [ had formerly met with only in comic papers, and when he confided that he did not like plays containing characters with whom he couldn't associate, I gave up and let the butler refill my Off betitnes in a taxi to join Julie Griggs ir January 18th away without a face powder compacte, and when a woman finds herself abroad without that article or a pocket ha search for a suitable table cover, but did dis- cover after a few blocks that I had come kerchief, she might as well turn straightway and return for them, which I did. And so, somewhat tardy, t where was the finest display of brocades that ever [ saw my life, and Julie settled on an Italian piece of rare tint and texture, rendered costly by the spots which evidenced antiquity. Nor could I refrain from laughter at the ion of an American merchant of 1924 getting two hun dred dollars more than an article was worth merely because some monks of a distant day had been careless in. their cups....Home late, and loath to make ready for a soirée to which I was going only on Samucl’s account, and when 1 discovered through adroit inquiries that his motive for attending was likewise altruistic, we telephoned our regrets nd fell to cards Lay late, meditating many thi 1 did ar- January decision, Namely, that until I am 19th fifty years old I shall bear with as much pa- ence and fortitude as possible the limitations placed on my rive at one ¢ conduct by the conventions of an artificial society, but that after my fifticth birthday I shall do and wear and say what I choose, half a century of conformity being enough for one of my temperament. And when I told Samuel, he quoth: I am glad of the warning, because then you will be talking and acting like those sharp old ladies in English novels, and divorce proceedings are not so rapid as the modern bride sup- poses... This day, after spending two futile hours over contemporary literature with my bookseller, I did mockingly announce my intention of writing a book, whereupon he answered, Why not? And when you think of what the publishers pat out these days, why not, indeed? Baird Leonard. comicbooks.com .,