Life — December 27, 1923 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

30 CONTEMPOR ARIES Presumption A teacher in the foreign quarter had ss a pupil so unruly that it be- came necessary to write to the child's father. : “My dear Mr. began. The next day a very stout and very irate woman appeared in the class-room flourishing a paper. “T will teach you to call my husband ‘my dear!” she cried. “Why, he say he ain’t never saw you in his life and I be- lieve him, you piece of impudence!” —Harper’s Magazine. Stankovitch,” the letter Ina Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE Double Trouble A Lansing man rode downtown on a bicycle to tell the police some one had stolen his rabbits, and while he was there some one stole the bicycle. And the saying is, he hasn't any more bicycle than a rabbit. —E. C. A., in Detroit Ne now, as Friends After Forty “There's no great friendship after forty. “How about the people we meet “If they will do to play bridge with, we are content.” —Louisville Courier-Journal Says, an advertisement: “Every child should learn to play the saxophone.” Well, certainly not on our street. —Bosion Transcript. It’s patterned after those smart little shops that hitherto one has found only in London. You'll find the ties, hose, shirtings, etc. at Cruger’sthesameasthose wornby thewell dressed Britisher. Dropin —or if that’s impossible—write us. CRUGERS Just off Sth Ave. and ‘round the corner from the Ritz f é Are you self-conscious about the impression you make on people? F EAR is probably the greatest handicap anyone can have in life. from being your own real self—from doing your downright best and from getting on in life as you should. Personal appearance has a lot to do} with the way you feel. Clothes count, of course. But brands them as either fastidious or careless —the tecth. Notice today, how you, yourself, watch another person’s teeth when he or she is talking. If the teeth are not well kept | they at once become a liability. Only the right dentifrice—consistently used—will protect you against such criti- cism. Listerine Tooth Paste cleans teeth a new Vv The first tube you buy will prove this to you. You will notice the improvement even in the first few days. And, moreover, just as Listerine is the safe antiseptic, so L terine Tooth Paste is the safe dentifrice. It cleans yet it cannot injure the enamel. What are your teeth saying about you today? LAMBERT PHARMACAL CO The World in Ruins A little girl who was sitting with her mother in the darkness of the theatre was greatly intrigued by the Interna- tional News reel showing scenes in devastated Japan. Finally a wide pano- rama of Tokio from the air was given. “Is that the whole world, Mama asked the little girl solemnly, in the dead hush of the theatre. —Columbus Dispatch. Youthful Cynicism Ata children’s party a little boy was attempting to twist a little girl’s arm. The little girl, a vigorous and determined young person, managed to struggle free, and, as she did so, hurled at her tor- mentor the indignant protest: “Herbert Johnson, I am not your wife!” —London Morning Post. Artistic Confusion Mr.: What in the world has our daughter been doing in her room for the last hour? Mrs. : Combing her hair so it will look as though a comb never touched it. —New York Sun arid Globe. In Germany “The lift attendant looks like a Count.” “For heaven’s sake, don’t let him hear you say that. He used to be a reigning Duke.”—London Daily Express. It keeps you | till there is one thing so many | people overlook—something that at once | “BUT WHERE Al SUCH A HURRY, YOU GOING IN WOMAN ?” “To THE STORE . . . 1 SOME FURS.” celsior (Mexico). NEED Encouraging the Enemy It is said that at the Princeton- game the band played, as is its wa “The Star-Spangled Banner.” A Princ ton man stood up, in all the swellin: emotion of the moment. He was pulled! down from four sides. “Sit down, y« ” they cried; “don’t you know that’s their Alma Mater Columbia Jester. Self-Service Heap or THE House: The maids ha left? Pooh! One is never waited on bet ter than by oneself. Er—Virginia, will you fetch my suspenders? L'Illustration (Paris). Tue Tus-THUMPING AciTaToR: Wot we want is more work—and less of it! —Passing Show (London) comicbooks.com