Life — December 6, 1923 — page 82: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

80 LIFE Confidential to the Ladies Don’t overdo that “for him” gift Stores are full of “‘gift-things for him” of which “‘he” lives in mortal dread. For to receive a gift involves an unwritten obligation to wear it, or carry it, or to other- wise use, display, or consume it, as the lawyers would say. It is usually surprising, and often dis- appointing, to a woman to find out how few things the average matter-of-fact man really wants. But for some of those things he has a good deal of affection, and more- over, he can use a lot of them. The Lost Title He was only a Title Writer, And he worked, when he worked at all, In the blackest of gloom, in a small, close room, Where Projectors squirt on the wall— Where they squirt their ineffable pic- tures Of the loves of a slick-haired boy For a doll of a blonde, who is always fond, But always correct, though coy. And, watching each seasick picture, He conjured what wits he possessed, Which were fairly few, to scribble a few Smart lines to describe the pest. He had written of Fate’s HARSH MANDATE, The Perfect Gift— In casting | * about for an ex- | He had written of pEsTINY’s CLUTCH ; 365 Nights ample, some-| Of the Grim oLp REAPER, the INNOCENT ' how pipes and | SLEEPER of Sleep 7 pipe tobacco} And of B1G-soULED WOMEN, and such. come first to | our mind. If we | What more appropriate Holiday gift than 365 nights of restful were a woman and we wanted to get right next toaman’sheart, we would smuggle a good pipe and some good pipe tobacco to him around Decem- | ber 25th. Or, if he already has a pipe that he thinks was divinely intended for him, the tobacco alone makes a full-size gift. Other advantages of good pipe tobacco asa Christmas present include the following: You don’t have to engage in any detec- tive work to find out his size, favorite color, or other specifications. And it doesn’t make any difference whether he “‘already has plenty” or not; nor need you be con- cerned lest your gift be duplicated. A man can smoke up a lot of tobacco between this Christmas and next; while the humidor jar, in which we put up a pound of Edgeworth, keeps the tobacco in prime condition indefinitely. Edgeworth is a to- bacco that practically every pipe-smoker likes; it’s a safe choice. The 16-ounce jar sells for $1.65 at any tobacco store. If your regular dealer hasn’t enough glass jars to supply the Christmas trade, let us play Santa Claus for you. Send us $1.65 for a jar, “his” name and address, and your personal greeting card. We'll do the rest. We'll pack the glass jar in an appropriate Christmas box, enclose your card and send it in plenty of time to reach him before Christmas. Address Larus & Brother Company, 63 South 21st Street, Richmond, Va. To Retail Tobacco Merchants: If your jobber cannot supply you with Edgeworth, | Larus & Brother Company will gladly send you prepaid by parcel post a one- or two- dozen carton of any size of Edgeworth Plug Slice or Ready-Rubbed for the same price you would pay the jobber. In fact, he'd exhausted the headlines Of every newspaper he knew, And to get a new twist on a title, he Was a tough little job to do. But one night, when his brain was woozly With Lulu de Luscious’s tricks, He dreamed a dream which did really seem To answer his fearful fix. For a Title—a Ten-Word Title— Full of Metaphors mixed between, That would beat all the Gush of his previous Mush, Appeared. if on a screen! There was something about cop's CHIL- DREN, And THE GREAT WIDE SPACES, OUT WEST; And the TANG OF THE CoLp, and the LURE HEART THAT WAS SORE But—something disturbed his slumber. He awoke—and the Dream was fled! And never again did there come to his ken That glorious Title he'd read. And_ still, when he’s wretched and weary, Faint flickers of Memory flame; But he’s found it never, and gone for- ever His hopes of a deathless Fame! G. B. WYNKOOP HALLENBECK CRAWFORD COMPANY, NEW YORK. sleep! Give him Faultless Night- wear—(Pajamas, Nightshirts or SleepCoats) for year-round lounging comfort and _ perfect sleep. Every year since 1881 Faultless Night wear has been written well upin the list of useful, worthwhile gifts. Because Faultless Nightwear is acceptable # all men, all ways. Because Faultless Nightwear is failored for sleep. Cut to conform to the lines of the body, there is ample room at the shoulders, elbows and knees. No binding, chafing or pinching anywhere. The buttons stay put. To simplify your Christmas shopping put Faultles: ightwear on your list Made of exquisite fabrics to fit any stature, any pocketbook. Available at over 12,000 of the Nation’s Best Men’s Stores. THE FAULTLESS NIGHTWEAR CORPORATION (E. Rosenfeld & Company) BALTIMORE NEW YORK CHICAGO “The NIGHTwear of a Nation” Pajamas Sleepcoats Nightshirts comicbooks.com