Life, 1923-12-06 · page 48 of 84
Life — December 6, 1923 — page 48: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century American obsession with "efficiency" and scientific management in unlikely contexts. The article mocks department stores training Santa Clauses like factory workers, enforcing rigid protocols to maximize profit over authenticity. The satire targets: **The main article** shows a manager instructing multiple "Santa Claus" employees—identified only by surnames (Smith, Bilkens, Barr, McNitty)—on how to respond to children. Rather than genuine jolly spontaneity, Santas are coached to remain silent, write requests on paper (to avoid wasting the store's paper supply with verbal conversation), and provide no personality. **The joke**: One Santa admits "I never learned how [to write]"—exposing the absurdity of applying industrial efficiency metrics to something inherently human and magical. Another Santa, having edited a Birth Control Review, instantly calculates exact visitor statistics, revealing these are interchangeable corporate functionaries, not characters. **The desert cartoon** (bottom) appears unrelated—possibly advertising or filler—showing cowboys in a comedic Western scene. The satire critiques dehumanizing corporate management of holiday traditions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
: DRE - Making Santa Efficient a Santa Claus is silence! Absolute silence! Let them do the talking; don't commit yourself in any way—a big, jovial laugh occasionally, but that’s all! “Now, we'll assume I’m a wide-eyed little kiddie and I see Santa Claus for the first time, and I say, ‘Pleathe, Mithter Thanta Clawth, tan I hay big dolly ’n’ cawidge?? What would you do, Santa Claus McNitty?” “I'd write it down ’n’ say nuttin “And you, Santa Claus Bilkens? “Naw, I wouldn't Bilkens. “Santa Claus Bilkens is correct,” snapped the manager. “There are (87, 622 stores represented by our Am mation, and if each representative used ten sheets of paper a day, that would ex- haust a week's output of a paper mill Is that your reason for not writing, Santa Claus Bilkens?” “Naw, I never learned how.” write!” replied 'HE Department Store Santa Claus is as dear to the hearts of Amer- icans as the floral Success Horseshoe in the window of a new butcher shop, and almost as essential. In this age of specialization the Santa Claus has come into his own; he must have something more than a pair of blue eyes and a wide girth. Hence the Efficiency School for De- partment Store Santa Clauses. tinued the Department Store Santa Claus manager after a half-hour’s dis- sertation on the finer points of Santa Clausing, “when the kiddie approaches, what do you say?” “Well, I'd start off about the weather,” answered Santa Claus Smith, shaking the sawdust from the previous night’s pinochle game from his huge walrus mustache. “Certainly not!” interrupted the de- “Santa Claus Barr,” continued the manager after a moment, “how many kiddies visit us every Christmas?” Having served a year as Editor of a Birth Control Review, Barr instantly announced 34,672. “Very good,” said the manager. “\Ve will now go down and watch the Vice- President of the Amalgamated Depart- ment Store Santa Clauses give an exhibition of one - hundred - per - cent Santa Clausing.” “And now, Santa Claus Smith,” con- partment head. “The first requisite of Ride hard, boys, eee aweakenin’ _—— ie eG - La yee ——=TI'm a'goin’ tew BR DIESE Whot tarnation dewvils mockery wv CHRISTMAS IN THE comicbooks.com