Life — November 1, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The All-Highest 'HE inventor died and went to his reward, which, to tell the truth, had been keeping hot for him a long time; and on his arrival in eternal blister, he was ushered into a cozy nook where the coals were a thought brighter and the atmosphere a trifle more sulphurous than in the main body of the establish- ment. The quality of the inhabitants was in keeping with the exclusive char- acter of the room, as he soon learned ; for one after another rose to his feet and told of his deeds which merited in- fernal distinction. Here were the inventors of the fold- ing army cot, the safety razor-blade sharpener, the key method of opening tins, the patent cigar-clipper, the spring window-shade roller, the theatre-seat hat-rack, the nickel-in-the-slot machine, the liquid-soap dispenser, the Pullman “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE GETTING THIN LIFE = drinking-cup, the automatic telephone, and every other exasperation that sends men to Beelzebub via profanity. At length up rose the dean of the establishment, the venerable inventor of the collar-button, and demanded of the newcomer to know wherefore he had been admitted into that august body. And the stranger lifted up his head proudly and gave answer: “Ye be all surely men of worth, and well have ye deserved your honors will I be not the least among you: lo, I am the inventor of the quick- detachable rim.” And they bowed their heads in silent awe before the master of them all. FCF. A POOR man will give a big tip, pretending to be rich, and a rich man will give a small tip, pretending to be poor. NER, DEAR?” “THE SUBWAY TURNSTILES DON’T SPANK”ME ANY MORE.” A Woman’s Place WOMAN'S place, I do main- tain, Is in the home; and much dissen- sion Could be escaped if she'd refrain From things beyond her compre- hension. The so-called modern woman who Delights in being free and clul Might better give attention to Her home, her kiddies and | hubby. The problems that perplex our land To comprehend / often grope, tov I find them hard to understand, So how can any woman hope to? To vote I'm never at a loss, Though public questions often bor me; Each year I simply place my cross The way my father did before m Now take my wife; a worthy spouse, For whom I have a great affection She's quite a treasure round the hous Excepting just before election. She reads each paper that arriv The tracts and pamphlets that infest one, : She knows the candidates, and strives To ascertain which one’s the best one. She knows the platforms, every word, She studies all the campais speeches, And, what to me is most absurd, She votes the way her consciencc teaches. I've tried to teach her how to vote In manner firm and pedagogic; Each time some foolish speech she'!! quote— Some women simply have no logic And so I always shall maintain ’Twould save much trouble and dis- sension If woman only would refrain From things beyond her compre- hension. ‘ Newman Levy. comicbooks.com