Life — October 25, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

On a Fancy Dress Ball I WENT to a fancy dress ball the other night. I was invited. Two friends were with me. We all hired .vening clothes. We appeared as gentlemen. The disguise was per- fect. No one knew us. One man was dress! as an eight-day clock. He said had just run down for the week od. The host had a brass rail arou) | his waist. He was clothed in co es of the Police Gasette. He said Sat was to make us all feel at hom We di O:; man was snooping all over the plac He stopped me and asked whe he was. I didn’t know. He laug! 1 heartily and said he didn’t eithe’. but he thought he was near beer It was a great joke. I think I wi pull it some time. One lady was -ereatly concerned. She was dres- | as Eve. She was afraid some one ight ask her to leave. That wou! have been shocking. One man was ‘itoxicated. He said he was a suppter of the Anti-Saloon League. He ‘bably was. I believed him. Another was perfectly sober. He said he \as a Senator. I think he was joki Th ve was one man to whom every one !wed and said “Sir.” He was dres. | as a taxi-cab driver. That was in unfair advantage. A young Engii-h girl wanted to show her ap- precistion of American hospitality. She sppeared as the Statue of Lib- erty. She was out of place. She was aske! to leave. There were two twin brot!vrs. One was dressed as Jesse Jams. The other as a New York poli man selling tickets for the po- ! lice games. No ene could tell them THE THREE-MILE LIMIT apart. I enjoyed myself. It was easy to per through the disguises. I knew: « °° Overheard at the Moron Club almost everybody. All but one. He “THE whole trouble with the “What the farmer needs is to have sai’ he was dressed as the Russian American farmer is that he hasn't his industry run by the banke: d Gov ornment. Poor devil! Not a soul — kept step with the times. While pro- financiers, same as the coal mir id rec gnized him! duction in other lines is being con- railways are managed. Look at the W. K. Ziegfeld, Jr. ducted’ on scientific principles, the price of coal, and freight rates. No farmer is growing crops in just the low prices or reduced rates there. In- Assurance same old-fashioned way that his corporate the farms, with about B assured, I would not say it, grandfather did.” twenty billion dollars of preferred, If 1 did not know it true. “You said it. Why, these simple- and twice as much common stock ; and Tase it to your heart and weigh it— minded hayseeds go along in their prices would be doubled. All it needs | love no one else but you. aimless way, raising so much wheat _ isa little of the high quality of brains and other crops that they can't find a that has made such a success of the Mi dred, Mary, Ann and Josie, market, and have to sell their stuff coal and railway industries.” ‘thel, Betty, Gertrude, Sue, below cost. Not having anybody to W. G. Rir:, Mabel, Myrtle, aussi, tell them how to run their farms, — sever doubted—why should you? they produce so much that most of 'OR the Klan Kollege play: JLK.M. them are up to their ears in debt.” “Ten Knights in a Tar-Room.” comicbooks.com