Life — September 27, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BIRTHPLACE COMMITTEE FINDS A CHARRED PLANK (PLANTED THE NIGHT BEFORE). Do You Need a Birthplace? An Open Letter from the Chicago Ready-Cut Standardized Birthplace Company By Don Herold O you need a birthplace? Do you need one personally, or for a friend or relative, or for some one you adr ardently? Can't you think of some one who ought to have one of our fine, but inexpensive, birthplaces? Look into history. Surely there is some one for whom you can start a birthplace fund. Many worthy characters dwell in obscurity for want of a birthplace. Our organization, the Chicago Ready-Cut Standardized Birthplace Co., has supplied birthplaces for some of the greatest men and women of history, and supplied ‘em cheap. Many persons comparatively unknown have risen to im- mediate fame after using one of our birthplaces. You are born but once. And people are very apt to judge you by your birthplace, so when you order one, get a good one. We can provide the site. Our realty department will attend to that. We still have many rare sites in downtown New York, or in the Gramercy Park district (a very popular birthplace neighborhood just now), or on upper Manhattan, or, if you wish, some choice locations for log- house birthplaces in rural districts. We offer at special bargain prices a number of literary birthplaces in Indiana. Our “Good-Taste Department,” recently created, will be glad to advise you as to where you ought to be born, or where any of your little friends, whose names you wish to perpetuate, should have been born. We are taking orders now for birthplaces to be shipped twenty or fifty years from date, in case you wish one for yourself. We will help you choose a suitable lot (a birt! lot, as it were), and you can pick any style of house you like. You can even choose the dear little old-fashioned cradle in which you were rocked. Or if you are a member of some hero-worshiping society, let us supply a birthplace for the feller. Our prices are a knockout, owing to our s: standardized, knockdown manufacture. Of know that sawmills cut planks to certain standardized lengths, and that windows and doors are mad@ in certain standard sizes. Our planks are even more standardized than those available in ordinary sawmills, and our windows and doors are the very last word in standardization. We take advantage of every economy. Our birthplaces come to you in a freight car all ready to set up anywhere in a few days’ time. (Birthplaces should be set up quickly; otherwise, after a few months of stumbling over construc- tion débris, the public is apt to question their genuineness.) Remember our motto: “There is no boost like a Chicago Ready-Cut Birthplace.” Of half the great men in America to-day it can be said: “He first saw the limelight in a Chicago Ready-Cut Birth- place.” Send for designs and prices. Please specify style of birthplace desired; log, plain or fancy; hovel, cottage, city house, medium or palatial. Sincerely, Cuicaco Reapy-Cut Stanparpizen BirtTHPLace Co. em of course you THE BENCH WARMERS Chorus of Derelicts (to Mr. Zero): DON’T BE A HOG, MOVE UP. comicbooks.com