Life — August 23, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Idee Fixe W have a good cook and we had a good dog. The cook's name should have been Mandy but it isn’t. It is Wallena, “afta General Stonewall Jackson, suh.” The dog’s name was Alec and he was what has been described as a “Synthetic Airedale.” It was a splendid combination and we were happy, the one administer- ing to our culinary wants, and the other to our higher spiritual aspira- tions as only a good dog can. Alce’s weakness lay in his constant desire to bite the grocer’s boy’s leg. He doubtless had his own reasons for this special longing but in all the con- yersations we had on the subject he never “came through clean.” ae. Many’s the time I have taken his head between my hands and, looking him in his eyes, have said, “Alec, what is there between you and Schultze’s delivery boy? You are holding out on me.” Yet always he was evasive and changed the subject to that of a walk or the search for a hypothetical flea. As for Wallena, her defection ran to « curious but unpleasant misap- prehension. mistook me for a rabbit. And I speak with feeling when I say it is a disturbing thing for a large, col- ored cook to take one for a rabbit over a period of three years. Her belief in my rabbitity mani- fested itself in an insistence that creamed carrots were intended for human consumption and therefore came under the head of food and— worse because more constant—the determination that parsley was a thing that was necessary to almost every dish that came from her practiced, dusky hands. A baked potato, open and steam- ing—in its heated heart a lump of butter and a sprig of parsley. The roasted chicken—all about is parsley which got involved with the stuffing. The morning eggs riding proudly on their couches of toast—parsley, pars- ley The soup—what are those drowning bits of flora? Parsley! Ii ever there was a parsley com- plex that woman had it. Well, one day Alec Scliultze’s boy? Perhaps. never prove it. lt was decided to bury him behind th garage. Tony, the gardener, had coniplete charge of the affair. dead. I could was A PRESS-EYE VIEW OF WINSTED, CONN. THE HOME OF THE FREAK NEWS ITEM The following day when I went out to get the car I found Wallena raising herself from the newly-made mound. “Ah wuz jes’ puttin’ a lil’ bouquet on Alec’s grave,” she said. I stooped over to look. It was parsley. Rollin Kirby. Title Contest Winners Lire takes pleasure in an- nouncing that the Missing Title Contest has been decided and that the awards of the $1,000 in prises for the three best titles will be published in next week's issue. Final Exam for Pharmacist | NAME two Good Roads to Can- * ada; (b) five Safe Landings in Long Island. 2. Bound Bermuda. 3. State Formula for Home Brew. 4. What difference Miles make? 5. State the psychical and physio- logical causes of winking. (6) How would you distinguish the Vamp Wink from the Drink Wink? 6. Tell how you would minister to Snake Bite, Influenza, Sudden Chill. 7. Should a druggist ever stand treat? If so, when, why ard to whom? does Three IFTEEN hundred Americans are in Paris to get divorces. They want the freedom of the city. comicbooks.com