Life — July 26, 1923 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Confusion However wise I get, there are a lot of simple matters On which I am eternally and hopelessly confused ; I've worn a dozen dictionaries down to rags and tatters, And still am just as dull as if I'd left them unperused. For instance—has a dromedary two humps, or a camel? Which syllable of “parallel” contains the double-1? The dolphin and the porpoise—which is fish and which is mammal ? \hich of the streets of Chinatown is Mott, and which is Pell? ] look ‘em up to-day, and have ’em all in firm possession— fo-morrow they're as muddled up as Einstein is to me; Is a “complex” the cause or the effect of a “repression”? thirty-two the number of the teeth, or vertebra? Norway or Sweden—which the eastérn, which the western nation? Which are the works of Willard Wright and which of Harold Bell? Who signed the Constitution and who signed the Declar- ation? \Which wrote the Briary-Moon-Calf—was it Floyd or Ethel Dell? The quarts a peck contains, and eke a gallon, have been taught us From early youth—but which, \\hich comedies did Terence write, and which were done by Plautus? What difference, if any, do you note ‘twixt tar and pitch? There's “prophecy” and “prophesy”—I don't know which the noun is And which the verb, from seeing them, and shall not till I'm dead; Nor whether Albany or Troy the right or left bank town is; And alkali or acid—which turns litmus paper red? I cannot remember which is What spoons to use, what ties to wear, have never seemed to mix me— But what is found by Pi-R-Square and what by 4 Pi D? (he difference of cockatoo and macaw always sticks me, And I have got orang-outang confused with chimpanzee, But oh, this gang of Robinsons that scribble prose and rhythm! There’s Harvey and there’s Dr. James and Edwin Ar- lington— ud I myself have Edwin Meade so snarled and tangled with ‘em That just to save my sanity, I sign Ted Robinson. ENGINE TROUBLE A safe, reliable skin treatment Resinol Soap possesses every advantage of the purest and most delightful toilet soap, and in addition it soothes the skin and scalp by virtue of the Resinol which it contains. That is why it helps to keep the complexion so clear and fresh, the scalp free frgm dandruff, and the hair thick and lustrous. It is the ideal toilet and bath soap for every member of the family. It arouses the skin to renewed activity, and starts the day right. If blotches, blackheads, redness, rashes or eczema have appeared apply Resinol Ointment after bathing with Resinol Soap. This healing ointment stops the itching and burning immediately and begins to clear away the irritated, inflamed condition of the skin. “Simply perfection | for any complexion” Your druggist sells the Resinol products, Resinol Soapand(intment @ DEAN’S WEEK - END - BOXES = Week-End Boxes from Dean’s give an in-town distinction to out-of-town entertaining O matter how far from Fifth Avenue you spend your Summers, you can serve Dean’s famous Cakes just as reg- ularly as you would in New York. Dean’s Cake-by-Post Departinent is at your service. Those people especially, who feel that there are no other Cakes just like Dean’s, will marvel at the delicious freshness of these Week-End Boxes. Send for one now and see for yourself. Week-End Boxes contain pleasing assortments of different varseties. Prices: $4.00, $4.00, $5.00 and $8.00 each. Delivered free, east of the Mississippi. 623 , New York Fifth Avenue City Euablished 1839 DEAN’S: BON : VOYAGE: BOXES : DEAN'S - WEDDING : BOXES “~® CAKES - comicbooks.com Sf & + CANDIES @ Ldad - DNIMALVD - S.NVAC- SHNVD - AVOHLUIA - SNVAG