Life, 1923-07-19 · page 7 of 36
Life — July 19, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"How to Get Through a Door"** is a humorous essay by Corey Ford about social etiquette when two people encounter a doorway. Professor Blotter of Columbia University proposes solutions, including coin-flipping or alphabetizing companions by first initials to decide passage order. The piece satirizes overcomplicated social conventions. **The caricature** (top right) depicts Hiram Johnson, identified as California's U.S. Senator. The caption notes his quirk about bananas—he "makes no secret of the fact that he is hastening home from Europe to find out why we in America have no bananas." This references a popular 1923 song; the satire mocks his apparently trivial concern given post-WWI circumstances. **The cartoon below** shows three figures outdoors (possibly artists or workers), with one claiming ownership of a boat used for painting, illustrating disputes over artistic property.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE How to Get Through a Door Professor Blotter Hits on a Happy Solution, ‘THEN two people go out for a walk and come to a door, the customary procedure is for both to halt, extend their left or right arms respectively, and step aside for each other to go through, This position is held for thirty seconds, whereupon both laugh and start simulta- neously for the door, collide, rebound, and then laugh louder than ever and sweep up each other’s glasses. To my mind there’s inefficiency there somewhere, though I can’t quite lay finger on it. It would seem almost simpler if one person were to go through the door first and then the other one were to follow him. But if you attempt this sort of thing (as I pointed out to Professor Blotter of Columbia University) you still have the difficulty of choosing which person shall go first. If you are walking by yourself this choice should be comparatively simple; but if you are with a companion, the only way I can see is to flip a coin at the start to find which one goes first through all doors during the walk. In fact, if you are walking with several people, I ex- plained to Blotter, you can make a sort of game of this method, and go by the alphabetical order of the first ini- tials of your Christian names, for instance; or else by the one who can give the best imitation of a train approaching, passing and dying away in the distance, or who can pro- nounce “statistics.” If it is made entertaining enough, I said, any amount of time, now wasted, can be saved. Professor Blotter said that the way he always manages, when he is out walking with somebody else and sees a door coming, is to excuse himself and promise to meet his companion on the other side in five minutes. Corey Ford. NOT THE LEAST OUTSPOKEN OF OUR YOUNGER STATESMEN IS HIRAM JOHNSON, THE SUNKIST SENATOR FROM CALIFORNIA, WHO MAK SECRET OF THE FACT THAT HE IS HASTEN- ING HOME FROM EUROPE TO FIND OUT WHY WE IN AMERICA HAVE NO BANANAS. “MAYBE HE DON’T LIKE US A-WATCHIN’ OF HIM.” “LIKE US! WELL, 'LL BE DANGED! WHY, THAT BOAT HE'S A-PAINTIN’ IS MY PROPITTY |” comicbooks.com