Life — July 19, 1923 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lire’s Expert Column We Answer Your Questions—Don't Question Our Answers. GOLF by Sock Murchison CORRESPONDENT, Mr. F. M. Delano, Jr., writes that he is in a bad way. Having determined to play golf at Chantilly, France, he has purchased all necessary tools from a French sporting-goods store. He understands, further, that the caddies on this course speak no Eng- lish. He wants to know how, then, in the circumstances, to address his ball. The proper address, Mr. Delano, comes with practice. We should think, however, that golf at Chantilly would be a sort of “lacey alley” affair. Or try this address: Morgan, Harjes et Cie., Paris. x ek Dear Sock: Was a moving pic- ture actor, but failing health has caused me to turn to the open spaces. Have secured contract as golf in- structor at fashionable girls’ camp. Entire personnel has signed up for lessons. Can you advise? R. V. Yes. Don’t do a thing until you have consulted with a reliable lawyer. LIFE Dear Mr. Murcuison: I am a modern wife and flatter myself that I know how to keep my husband in his place. But since he has been made chairman of the house com- mittee of his golf club I have not been able to get him to listen to me at all. What shall I do? “DETERMINED.” Madam, you'll just have to take your turn, * * * Isidor, St. Wolfram’s C. C. Sorry, Isidor, we haven't the slightest idea where your partner can get himself a pair of plus three-ninety-eights. Betty, Philadelphia. No, Betty, there is no reason in the world why you cannot tie a neat pink bow around the neck of your mid-iron. Do you use a backhand Lawford, or the Aus- tralian crawl stroke? A Mother-in-Law. The best place for you to stand while your daughter's husband is driving is about two feet directly behind him. Service HE: What have for women? CONGRESSMAN : tax on cigarettes. you ever done I voted against the ON’T envy a good complexion. It won't do you any good. “y’KNOW, MOLLY, I'D BE WILLIN’ T’ PAY A HUNDRED THOUSAN’ DOLLARS TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT,” The Ballad of Trewthful Jaymes Scopolaminne: a drugge, pelle personnes to speke ye Wy ttHout T hys shoppe, a Pothe- caire Stocked welle of potions dreare, Hung uppe a signe in letters bolde: “Scopolaminne Solde Heare.” used to com- trewth. Then cometh onne called “Trewthful Jaymes,” No manne hadde known hym lye; He hadde a statelye, measured walke And gentil, steadfaste eye. “Goode manne of drugges,” Trewthful Jaymes, “Take unto you thisse tynne, And in exchange give me, I praye, Of your scopolaminne.” spake “God spare my eares,” leech, The while hys wonder grewe; “Scopolaminne for gentil Jaymes, An honnest manne and trew returned ye That never tolde, I may make bolde, A falsehoode in hys lyffe?” “Ecod,” quoth he, “’tis not for mee, I would it for my wyffe.” Henry William Hanemann. Radiotics HE way of the transmitter is hard. It is more blessed to broadcast than to receive. Broadcast thy voice upon the ether. The singed cat shuns the amplifier. The night has a thousand wave lengths. Go to the antenne, thou sluggard. comicbooks.com