Life, 1923-07-19 · page 13 of 36
Life — July 19, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical one-act drama set on a ship's deck before departure. Two American tourists debate whether America remains great, with a brass band playing patriotic songs in the background. The satire targets American jingoism and nostalgia. The "First American Tourist" expresses pessimism about America's future, claiming "England is the only free country left" and "America ain't fit place for a man to live in anymore." The "Second American Tourist" counters with nationalist fervor, invoking Washington and Lincoln, praising American exceptionalism despite hardships. The illustrations show tourists conversing while crew prepares the ship. The play mocks both blind nationalism and defeatist pessimism—suggesting Americans flip between extremes of self-congratulation and self-doubt, often triggered merely by patriotic music.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Music Hath Charms—” (An American Drama in One Act) RAMATIS Personz. First American Tourist. Second American Tourist. A Brass Band. - Other tourists, visitors, officials, merrymakers, etc. (The scene is the deck of the S. S. Megalomania, which is about to sail for Southampton, Tue First AMERICAN Tourist and Seconp Ditto are leaning over the rail, sur- veying the crowd which has assembled to wish the vessel “Godspeed,” or words to that effect. Tue Brass Bann ts on the pier, having been engaged by the members of the Francis X. Blum Social and- Fraternal Society to give their president a big send-off. THe Bann has been playing popular airs, and a spirit of jollity prevails.) First AMERICAN TouRISsT: be leaving this dump. Seconp AMERICAN Tourist: Yeh, you said it! F. A. T.: Personally, I don’t much care whether I ever get back. S. A. T.: Same here. F. A. T.: England is the only free country left. s.A.T.: That's what I’ve heard. F.A.T.: America ain't a fit place for a man to live in, any more. S.A.T.: You're right at that. (Tue Banp plays “My Country, ’Tis of Thee.”) F.A.T.: It wasn’t always as bad as this, though. 5. A. T.: No, I guess not. T. But it’s gone to Hell now, all right. S.A.T.: It sure has. (Tue Banp plays “My Old Kentucky Home.”) F.A.T.: America could've been the greatest nation on earth if it'd ever had a decent government. S.A.T.: That's the truth. (Tue Banp plays “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”) Well, sir, it seems good to “ELOISE, THIS ROAST OUGHT TO BE COOKED THREE HOURS. DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE HERE LONG ENOUGH?” “HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?” “RECENT.” F.A.T.: If we could only have a few more men like Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln. S.A.T.: Yeh—they were great men, all right. F. A. T.: But they don’t make 'em like that any more. (THe Banp plays “Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?”) F.A.T.: dead yet. S.A. T.: No, sir! (Tue Banp plays “Over There.”) F. A. T.: It’s a funny thing about America: always rises to meet an emergency, always comes through in the pinch. Look at the war! We won that, didn’t we? S.A.T.: We sure did. (Tue Banp plays “Home Sweet Home.”) F.A.T.: And we've certainly got it over any other country in the world when it comes to natural advantages —scenery, ideals, home life, and all that. S.A.T.: That's true—every bit of it. (Tue Banp plays “The Star Spangled Banner.” Both Tourists doff their hats.and stand rigidly at attention.) F. A. T. (choking): I tell you, the United States of America is the grandest, noblest nation on the face of the earth, and anyone who says it ain't ought to be burned alive. S.A.T.: Yeh, hanging’s too good for ’em. (As the ship pulls out, THe Banp plays Tosti’s “Good- Bye.” Both Tourists break down and weep.) Curtain, Robert E. Sherwood. Still, you never can tell. The old spirit ain't comicbooks.com