Life, 1923-07-12 · page 15 of 40
Life — July 12, 1923 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical "Letters You Never Write" and illustrations mocking social conventions. The main cartoon depicts "Pepper" of Penn (likely George Wharton Pepper, a Pennsylvania public figure), shown as a bombastic, gesturing man in business attire—caricatured as someone who talks excessively about his own importance. The bottom illustration shows a woman presenting books to an elderly man, captioned "Have you got 'black oxen'?"—referencing a 1920s play about aging and rejuvenation, satirizing dated literary tastes. The letters mock polite social refusals: declining a dinner invitation, avoiding a club event, and rejecting charity ticket sales. The satire targets how people construct excuses rather than simply declining social obligations. The final section, "Kisses Are Like Money," compares romantic affection to currency—some valuable, some counterfeit.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Letters You Never Write EAR Mr. TrpBeTson : Won't you dine with us on Thursday at eight o'clock? There will be just a few of us and we do so want to see you again. Harry will feed you several yery potent cocktails before dinner and then ply you with his entire pre-war stock. Thus, under the guise of hospitality, we sincerely hope to worm out of you the proposed policy of Amalgamated Almonds Preferred. We are both in it up to our necks. Do come. Yours deceitfully, Marcaret FLInveRLy. Dear GEorGE: Just a line to let you know that wild Rolls-Royces couldn't drag me to the club dinner on the twelfth of next month, Such “gaiety” is not for me. How easily I pic- ture Sanderford gabbling about the “old bar” and Fripps getting off several long-winded, pointless golf anecdotes. Tien you will sit around and gaze into the coffee and cigar ashes until Ferguson or Grayweather will sigh and murmur something about the “good old days.” No, George, I’m off funerals. Death is too long. Yours merrily, Gerry. My Dear Mr. Darrincrorp: I know so well that you do not care for any tickets for the Benefit Performance of “Sweet William,” presented by the Senior Class of Miss Prime’s School for Young Ladies. Furthermore, I am fully aware that you detest amateur theatricals in each and every of their phases, Still, I am enclosing six tickets at five dollars apiece. It seems a rotten trick on my part, but, you see, I have been made a member of the School Board Patroness Committee. Don’t think me unkind. Burn the wretched tickets. Yours truthfully, VioLet CrosswalTe. “HAVE YOU GOT ‘BLACK OXEN’?” Country Book Dealer: No, BUT I'VE GOT MOORE ON “HE DISEASES OF CATTLE.” PEPPER of Penn. is a model for men; * A bulwark in peace or in war, With character rounded and solidly founded On learning and logic and law. When Senators bicker of tariff or liquor, As Senators will now and then, The speediest stepper is certainly Pepper, George Wharton Pepper of Penn. Let me further explain that in spite of his brain He’s an athlete, as every one knows, And if questions logistic evolve toward the fistic He's always right there on his toes. With these multiple talents of brain power and Balance Who is there, I ask, in the Sen. Who can stack up with Pepper, the mental Mazeppa, George Wharton Pepper, of Penn.! George S. Chappell. Kisses Are Like Money VERYBODY wants plenty. The more you get, the more you want. They are payable on demand and good for face value. Some are counterfeit. Some come in small denominations, others in large. Some people are stingy with them, others extravagant. They can’t always buy happiness. Kisses are like money, only sweeter. comicbooks.com