Life — June 7, 1923 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Thats not swept at all! You're too anxious to get lout and play. Now go and sweep it right I swept the sidewalk,’ Momma, can | go out with the fellers now? oT hetter ark Ma how she likes it There's no sense in doin’ it again. I'm yust goin ta wait -thats all whats to it How does it look now, Mamma A hundred percent better? You see i to do things rig tS Any Saturday Morning The Microbe MICROBE sat on the lip of a king Who was planning the conquest of everything, Wishing the world to call him great. And the microbe said: “Your plans might be Wisely conceived, were it not for me; I shall defeat them—I am Fate!” How times have changed! It was once the Bad Woman who was pitied. Now it is the good one who is commiserated. Fottowinc the sugar investigation, the Govern- ment probably will tell the people to raise more cane next time. May 30th Up betimes, so full of joie de vivre that I did feel like running up a flag for some- thing, and then I fell a-thinking of Thomas Hardy, and took down his last book to re- read “An Ancient to Ancients,” a brave and beauti- ful poem, and so moving that it quieted me down a little. . . .Lydia Loomis to luncheon with me, off on a new tangent, as usual, and now it is the perfect re- laxation of all the muscles of the body, which, as far as I could make out, she attains by lying flat on the floor and thinking about the Greeks, having laid out several hundred dollars for a course of instruction, Nor did I remonstrate with her, as was once my wont, being finally convinced that naught can be done to controvert the adage concerning a fool and his funds. It may be as well, too, for Lydia to squander her money on fads and follies as to be setting up a shop, as so many lightweight females do these days, and having it fail... .This night I did open the new bottle of scent which Kate Mitchell gave me for my birthday, finding it delightful. And when I did re- mark to Sam that not being able to smell perfume on one’s self was one of life's greatest tragedies, he re- sponded that a greater lay in the fact that everybody else could. May 31st Wakened by a summons on the telephone from the company itself, a young woman telling me that I had overpaid my last bill by twelve dollars and that she would dispatch me a cheque forthwith. Whereupon I rose and looked searchingly out the window, finding, to my amaze- ment, that the skies had not fallen. But I shall stay my rejoicing, being confident that there is a catch which will manifest itself in the next statement. . .. A great dinner on at our house this night which Sam, who was to have come home early to apportion the liquor, did hold up forty minutes. The poor wretch had been compelled, at the eleventh hour, to have an important document copied and go with it himself to the house of one of his richest clients, an alcoholic, who, being in her cups when his messenger presented the original draft earlier in the afternoon for her signature, had written “Love and kisses, Lucy” across it and sent it back to him. A merry evening, withal, and I enjoyed myself thoroughly, albeit many of my friends declare they cannot do so at their own revels. June Greatly cast down at being reminded so 1st forcibly of my debts by the first post. Lord! some merchants must sit up the last two or three nights of one month in order to prod their customers promptly on the first day of the next, an evil for which I avenge myself by paying first the more considerate tradespeople who reserve their invoices until the fourth or fifth... .A telegram from our cozen Amy announces that she will soon be with us for another week. This time it is her teeth. Baird Leonard. comicbooks.com