Life — June 7, 1923 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE What Is a Week Without a Name? By Will Rogers VERY week here in New York we have some E kind of week or other, I dont know how we got by in the old days without having these weeks named. Sometimes we have a double header, like Boys week and Music week. They had a Boy Mayor and a Boy in every other City department, I couldent see any dif- ference in the way things run, if they had left them in awhile I think we could have seen an improvement, Then Music week was a total loss, people hadent heard any in so long that they dident recognize it when ‘they heard it, so I doubt if they ever hold that again. **e* We had clean up week which started several years ago and was such a big hit with New York Hotels, Cafes, and Ticket Speculators that they hung on to that, they have been cleaning up ever since, Then we had Apple week much to the sorrow of the Doctors, then Thrift week, everybody drew all they had out of the savings Bank to show their Friends what they had saved and spent it before they got through show- ing it, It will take a couple of years before we are able to have another one of those. xe Then you remember Smile Week, Everybody went around grinning like.a Chesire Cat, You dident know whether people were laughing with you or at you. Then there was Dont Get Hurt Week, Taxicab This Boy Made Good. So Can You! “I had almost given up hope of ever being promoted,” writes Charles M. Schwab of Riverside Drive, New York City. “I saw all the other Drivers couldent hardly wait till the following Mon- day to run over you. What we got to do now is to give a week for the men in the Steel Company waving fifty-dollar raises at their wives and I felt very blue. Then _I learned to pronounce my words carefully through your book, ‘A Thousand Words Often Mispronounced, and lay I own my own automobile.” Fellow who thinks up names for all these other weeks. a The Booster sf UT I don’t like the wind,” protested the new- comer to the cow country plaintively. “It blows so hard my conversation goes right back down my throat. And I've got to talk. I’m a book agent.” “You don’t like the wind?” interrogated the Old Timer. “Why, man, the wind clears the range—gives the cattle a chance to graze. Why, the wind’s great for this country !” “And the heat,” protested the newcomer, awful. Now I—” “The heat?” countered the Old Timer. “Why, it’s kinda hot sometimes. But summer ain't only a month long. Why, the heat’s the best part of it.” “But the dust,” insisted the newcomer, feebly. “The dust’s awful, now isn’t it? Now I—” “Dust? Say, stranger, you don’t know nothin’. Why the dust’s necessary !” He turned from the tenderfoot in evident sorrow, not unmixed with disdain. “Why,” he said over his shoulder, “all these disadvantages make the West!” Orren when a Congressman throws his hat in the ting he is only discarding from weakness. 5 54 T “It's Undiscovered An indignant motorist wishes to know whether any one has ever seen a policeman serve a summons on a pedestrian who was disregarding traffic signals. No, we never have! But neither have we ever seen a reckless pedestrian run over a motor car and de- stroy it. “Porter, have you change for a dollar?” “How much?” comicbooks.com