Life — April 26, 1923 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wanted: A Liberator OW that Art has been emanci- pated, who will strike the ss from the chaste feet of We have Free Verse, Free Sculp- ture, Free Painting—What about a Free History, or a Free Algebra for a change? As a teacher, I have met in’ the class-room quite a number of eman- cipated mathematicians, unhappily unconscious, however, of their glo- rious anarchy. “Why don’t you change the sign when you transpose x?” I say, wav- ing my birch over some trembling lunkhead. “I forgot,” says he. “Aha,” I cry,—‘you forgot !”— And I straightway proceed to gloat over the unfortunate child. But some day I shall meet my Waterloo. Some day I shall rebuke the wrong child; and he—sired LIFE probably by a Cubist and dammed by a Dadaist—will defiantly reply to my rebuke: “But, sir, I did not change the sign, because I am an Anarchist. I did not change the sign, because I think x ought to come and go exact- ly as it pleases. I did not change the sign, because I am a believer in Free Algebra!” Then all the children will stand on the desks, and wave Free Algebras in my face. And I shall lose my job. Cyril B. Egan. Nature THERE was a man in our town And he was wondrous stout. He went upon a diet And lost thirty pounds,—about. And when he saw how much he’d lost With all his might and main He went and ate a lot of food And put it on again, \ -UNNES — INQUTCOMERY FLA GE The Lady and the Trunk “You're mistaken—'twas six flights, not eight; You can put it down anywhere—WAIT! Perhaps over there. No, that’s too near that chair— Now wait till I get the rug straight!” Things LIFE Would Rather Like to Know HAT will be the cause of next winter’s coal shortage, eK When representatives of labor in Congress will be invited to dine with American aristocracy. eK In what language the Great American Novel will be written. eee Whether New York’s women taxi drivers will limit. their passengers to the fare sex. *** Why the U. S. Steel Corporation wants the law limiting immigration repealed. * eK Whether the woman of fashion will carry the Egyptian craze to the point of trying to talk like the sphinx. * eK If it will not take a good deal of resilvering to make the Mirrors of Washington last until 1928. eee Why H. G. Wells doesn’t devote the next year or two to writing the ten greatest books himself. eH Whether Conan Doyle has ever heard about the medium in President Harding's Cabinet. ** x If a “Broadway success” will ever be accepted by the first manager to whom it is submitted. *e* Whether Bonar Law, in stating that there will be no major war for ten years, doesn’t overrate the pub- lic’s interest in minor conflicts. *e* Whether the statesmen of Europe will succeed in getting the boys into the trenches by Christthas. eK - Why the Ship of State is always calked with hokum. *e* What European monarch Mayor Hylan will invite to his jubilee to “say a mouthful.” *** Why the Rev. Dr. Guthrie's Egyptian tableaux come under the head of front page-entry. **e* Which is correct, Washington cats are full of mews, or Washing- ton Mews is full of cats, comicbooks.com