Life, 1923-04-26 · page 10 of 36
Life — April 26, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of humor content: 1. **"Dinner for Two"** (poem by Mabel Cleland Ludlum): A satirical poem about a woman's dating dilemmas. She declines dinner invitations from Billy and Bob because she's committed to Dick, valuing the certainty of an established relationship over the unpredictability of new romantic interests. The satire mocks women's social calculations around dating and male attention during this era. 2. **"Extraneous Matter"** (sketch): A brief comedic dialogue at a State Boxing Commission office where a young boxer claims his wife's illness prevented him from fulfilling a fight contract. The commissioner skeptically questions whether he was actually married, satirizing the excuses boxers might make. 3. **"Negotiating It"** (sketch): A humorous exchange about pronunciation, where characters debate "Jagganese" versus "Japanese" jugglers, poking fun at linguistic confusion and accent-based wordplay. The overall tone reflects early 20th-century American satirical humor targeting relationships, sports, and immigrant cultural references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Hello, Harry, how’s everything?” “Pretty good. But I’m worried about Europe.” Extraneous Matter CENE: Office of State Boxing Commission. Characters: Young Arson, a boxer. The Commis- sioner. ComMissIoNER: You're charged with failure to fulfill a contract to appear in a ten-round bout against Wolf Ronin. The Maytime Sporting Club is the complainant. If you have no explanation I will have to suspend you for three months. Now what have you to say for yourself? { Younc Arson: Well, my wife was ~ very sick an’ I couldn’t leave her alone. CoMMISSIONER: I’ve always un- derstood that you weren’t married. Younc Arson: Well, if you’re go- ing to be that technical— Negotiating It “I pon’r like these Jagganese jup-* plers.” “Y’ mean these Juppanese jag- glers.” “I mean—Jugganese japplers.’ “No—Jappalese jugganers.” “I mean I don’t like—those men there.” “Yeah, those. Neither do I.” It’s a poor columnist who does not think that his column is the whole newspaper. Dinner for Two WENT to dinner with Billy, It was raining and we walked. I got my feet wet and caught cold, Billy was cross because he was hungry, He scolded the waiter and made a scene, He looked at my hat and said I ought to know better than to wear red, That everybody was looking at me Because my hat was so unbecoming. He took me home in a crowded street car, And left me without saying good-night. I went to dinner with Bob, He called for me in a taxi And pinned a bunch of fragrant violets in my furs. We dined at Delmonico’s and the head waiter himself Suggested the dinner. People looked at me and Bob said they showed good taste, Because I was the prettiest woman in the room, In my red hat. He took me home in a taxi And lingeringly said good-night, They both called me to-day And asked me to dinner, It didn’t take me a minute to make up my mind How to answer them! It is raining and Billy would make me walk And my cold would get worse. I'd have to wear my old hat because my new one is red. Bob would have a taxi and flowers for me, And a compliment for my hat. I didn’t hesitate a minute in my answer to them, It was No. . Because at six-thirty I am going to dinner with Dick, my Beloved, Who just came back to town to-night. Mabel Cleland Ludlum. “Somebody you know said some foine things about you the other day.” “Flattery, was it?” “No. Hogan.” comicbooks.com