Life — April 19, 1923 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE date of Arbitration Week has been changed from May 7 to May 14, thus postponing the next war at least seven days. -L The average salary of ministers in the United States is about $1300. Proving that there is no jack in the pulpit. Jack Dempsey has turned down an offer of three-quarters of a million to fight in Buenos Ayres. Mr. Demp- sey isn’t interested in fractions, L The advocates of restricted immigra- tion evidently work on the principle that the worst is yet to come. When a man goes out to paint the town now, he is obliged to do the best he can with water-colors. —L Well, anyway, we've never heard of a baby being christened “Volstead.” aL The city of Tokio has adopted plans for the Americani- In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to what the girls have been thinking about all winter. Returning Ameri- cans who have had a taste of Europe now refer to the Goddess of Liberty as the statue of limitations. —L According to Wil- liam T. Tilden, a sportsmanlike tennis player always makes a deliberate misplay when the umpire makes a decision un- fair to his opponent. T he professional ball-player’s method is much more direct. He merely kills the umpire. It might be easier to do away with profi- teers if nearly 7 Simpler “To git lost’s confusin’ on shore Where there’s billions of people or more; It’s nicer at sea— It’s just ocean and me And a half-dozen planks—nothin’ more!” zation of its busi- ness district. Who knows but that some day this — interest- ing experiment may be tried in New York? aL Next fall Percy Haughton will make records exclusively for Columbia. aL Maybe New named a__ferry- boat for William Randolph Hearst on the theory it will never get to Albany. aL York Presidential boomers of Senator Brook- hart say it isn’t im- portant whether he has a dress suit or not. What the voters want to know is what kind of golf knickers he wears. JOM. Fi American women spend $75,000,000 a everybody didn’t want to be one. There is another report to the effect that Lenin and Trotzky have split. How much? LL Madame Gadski has sued a music critic for $250,000. Madame evi- dently is unfamiliar with the scale of newspaper wages. JL What the world needs most is a rest from the people who are continually telling us just what it is that the world needs most. The unpopular song is written with promissory notes, and without rests. IL It is understood that a giant liner is now building which will cut down the time between New York and Southampton from 120 drinks to 118. 1 Bishop Manning probably feels that what Dr. Percy Stickney Grant needs is a good anti-skeptic. -L Don’t miss Lire’s $1,000.00 Title Contest, beginning next weck. year on powder for their faces and arms. And American men must spend some- thing like $100,000,000 for cleaners to eradicate it from their sleeves. —L King George ordered sixty-{our cases of corned beef and failed to get the order. Notes of sympathy will be dispatched to him by all veterans’ organizations. We hear that, the day before the baseball season opened, an_ office boy’s grandmother died of self-con- sciousness. comicbooks.com