Life — March 29, 1923 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Things ee FE CWould Rather Like to Know HETHER Congress is enjoying its vacation as much as the rest of the country. ae x If William Hohenzollern now con- siders his marriage certificate merely a scrap of paper. x Why lawyers’ called briefs. arguments are OK OK Whether gas at a dollar a gallon will have any effect upon the utter- ances of Senator La Follette. aK What has become of the old-fash- ioned policeman who used to catch runaways. * eK If Jupiter Pluvius has begun training for the opening of the base- ball season. OK How long before the Sunday amusement law. will be invoked against the sermons of Dr. Percy Grant. *** Whether junket is the favorite des- sert ordered in the Senate restau- rant. ** If the appointment of Dwight F. Davis to the War Department is an effort to settle the Lenglen-Mal- lory controversy. Why it should take a woman longer to change her dress than her mind. xe * Whether Tut-ankh-Amen’s de- fense of his treasures for three thou- sand years didn’t take a lot of sand. * eK If the French are being guided by a policy of thanks to England and tanks to Germany. * ee How many tons of newsprint paper and how much ink will be re- quired to see Babe Ruth through the approaching campaign. eK If the public doesn’t find it in- creasingly hard to believe Ander- son’s fairy tales. *k Whether the purpose of the Hard- ing Administration is to make the United States safe for Democracy. * eK What is Lord Carnarvon’s honest opinion of lése majesté. x kK Whether lame ducks are not some- how related to homing pigeons. eK What the Washington bootleggers do with their time when Congress adjourns. * KOK Where do we go from here, La- fayette. Tourist: Were you ever lost? A Fable NCE upon a time there was a man named Smith who was never able to save a cent. No matter how much he earned, he always found that at the end of the year he was just as hard up as he was at the beginning. One day a friend said to him, “How much do you spend on food and clothes each ‘year ?” “T haven't the slightest idea,” an- swered Smith. - The friend smiled in a superior manner. “What you need,” he said, “is a budget. I keep a book in which I write down every cent I spend— even if it’s only two cents for a newspaper.” “That’s a swell idea,” said Smith. So he went out and bought a bud- get book for two dollars and ninety- five cents. It was beautifully ruled, and divided into columns headed Clothes, Rent, Food, Amusements, Doctors, Charities, and so forth. For a whole year Smith wrote down in the book everything he spent. At the end of the year he took the book out and examined it. He found that he had earned four thousand, two hundred and twelve dollars and forty cents; the book showed that he had spent four thou- sand, two hundred and eleven dollars and fifteen cents. He put his hand in his pocket and drew out a dollar and twenty-five cents. “Well,” said Smith, “it certainly proves that there’s nothing like be- ing methodical.” So he picked up the book and threw it out of the window. Moral There Is Madness in Method. N.L. Sometimes Puncher: Yep, the last time I was in New York. comicbooks.com