Life — March 8, 1923 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Natural Mistake Act 1 CENE: In and about ring at Madison Square Garden during a boxing match. Characters: Young Blotch, a boxer; Dan Mc- Kettrick, his manager. Time: Evening. McKerrrick (shouting above roar of crowd): Watch his right, Blotch. Watch that right. He'll nail you with that right if you're not careful. Watch it. Keep away from that right. Keep away—keep away—keep away from that right—oh! (Groans loudly as Young Blotch is knocked out by right hook.) Act Ir Scene: Young Blotch's corner. Characters: Same as Act 1. Time: Three minutes later. McKerrrick (working over Young Blotch, who is slowly returning to consciousness) : I told you to keep away from that right, didn’t 1? I told you he'd get you with that right. Why didn’t you keep away from his right, like I told you to? Younc Brotcu (defensively): Well, you see, Dan, with th’ crowd yellin’ an everythin’, I couldn’t hear you very well. I thought you wuz tellin’ me to watch his left, that’s why. (Curtain) The Evidence Ficut Manacer (explaining): Joe, here, was goin’ great up to th’ sixth. He has that Young Leo- nine clinchin’ like he was a debbytant, or whatever them dames are. There ain't nothin’ to th’ fight up to that sixth but us. We're winnin’ all th’ way. An’ then Joe, here, busts his hand on th’ other guy’s head. He keeps on fer two more rounds, but it ain’t no use with only one mitt, so he has to retire. Pretty tough, that: winnin’ all th’ way an’ then havin’ to bust his mitt. Show him th’ hand, Joe, where it was busted. Tue Boxer (cautiously) : Which one was it, Ed? The Visitor Scene: Sports department of newspaper office. Characters: Sporting Editor; a pugilist; his manager. Time: The present. MANAGER (smoothly): They soitanly treat us royal in Yurop. Soitanly do. Th’ Kid, here, gets a great hand everywhere he goes. He's a knock- out with them society bugs. Meets them all. Lerd George, Barney Shaw, th’ Duke uv Yerk, Oil Haig —all them guys. He meets them—don’t you, Kid? Tue Puaitist (emphatically): Yeh! An’ I lick every one uv ’em. Iscariot’s Successors “QI PIN me a yarn!” cried Judas. And Benedict Arnold laughed, And drank to his crony traitors. What matters it what they quaffed? It was holiday-time in Hades, there was little of smoke or flame; And they who'd wrought flaws in a faith, or a cause, sat chattering of their shame. “What tale could we tell, Iscariot, would not be tame to yours? Ours were but passing treacheries, but your great crime endures. . You are the Prince of Renegades and yours is the voice we heed; We should be dumb when you deign to come to give us the word we need.” “T'll give you a word,” spake Judas, “and it will please you well. Think not that the only traitors are we who are chums in Hell. By imy thirty pieces of silver, I swear that on Earth to-day There are those who in preaching the Christ to men are kissing Him to betray.” E. S.V.Z. Sometimes We Wish the Reckless Driver Had— got in front of the fool who didn’t know it was loaded, comicbooks.com