Life, 1923-03-01 · page 14 of 36
Life — March 1, 1923 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"My Husband Says"** (top): A domestic humor column where a wife describes cooking a goose for her Aunt Julia using French toilet soap to scrub it clean. The husband dismisses her concerns about this unconventional method. The satire mocks both pretentious domestic practices and marital dynamics where husbands dismiss their wives' practical concerns. **"Ifs"** (right): A short poem about counting one's "ifs" (regrets or conditional thoughts) as possessions, comparing them to a dog dreaming of a buried bone. **Bottom cartoon**: Shows parents snoring loudly while a child in bed complains "What stupid parents! I wish they would stop snoring. I was just getting Havana." The joke appears to reference a child's interrupted dream about Havana, Cuba—suggesting pre-prohibition American interest in Cuban leisure.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE My Husband Says HAT he thinks cook books are works of fiction, simply founded on facts. But I can make perfectly priceless nut pinuchi that I found in the cook book. We invited his Aunt Julia, on his father’s side, to dinner on her birth- day. I thought it would be lovely to serve goose, for a change. My husband said he didn’t think it would be a faur pas to shatter the time-honored custom of serving turkey on holidays. I wanted to cook the goose myself; I love to have things nice for his Aunt Julia. She's the poor, rich old lady, with no children, you know. The cook book said to scrub it thoroughly with soap. Katie said she thought plain soap would be best to use, and I must rinse it very carefully. But I have some lovely French toilet soap with a heav- enly odor of violet. It is really almost too pungent for toilet use, but I thought it would be wonderful to scrub the goose with; especially for company. I used nearly a whole cake, and the goose looked lovely and clean. And every time we opened the oven door the kitchen was filled with a delightful odor of violet. “What stupid parents! It came out a wonderful blend of warm browns, and | garnished it lavishly with holly, and a necklace of strung cranberries, and it looked perfectly stunning. My husband’s Aunt Julia said she didn’t care for per. fumed goose; and I felt awfully. She said if God had given some people the sense He gave the poor goose, it would help some, in plain every- day life. My husband said I must not feel so badly, and I would- n't have minded so much, but I got a stunning bottle of violet water, in a fascinating purple satin box, with a lavender lining, for his Aunt Julia for Christmas. And when I gave it to her she said she had hoped she would never see, hear, or smell another violet as long as she lived. L.B.S. Ifs OARD all your ifs and count them gladly, Saying: “If I had this or this, This heavy purse, that stately leisure, This laurel leaf, that proffered kiss!” Keep them to work a large enchantment More yours than all that is your own— Dream on them, feast your pride upon them As a dog dreams of a buried bone. I wish they would stop snoring. I was just getting Havana.” comicbooks.com