Life, 1923-02-15 · page 6 of 36
Life — February 15, 1923 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **"Mrs. Pep's Diary" (Feb. 10th):** A gossipy diary entry mocking fashionable society women obsessed with trivial status concerns—Bohemian affectations, expensive silks, card-playing, and gossip. The satire targets the shallowness of upper-class leisure activities. **"A Valentine":** A romantic poem mocking sentimental Valentine's Day sentimentality, likely parodying overwrought period love poetry. **"Simpson's New Hat":** A dialogue satirizing working-class men's aspirations and their wives' practical skepticism. The husband wants an expensive hat ($20) he can't afford; the wife questions his financial priorities. It mocks masculine vanity and marital financial disputes. The illustration shows an impoverished couple at a simple table, emphasizing the class contrast with the society content above. All three pieces use gentle satire of social pretension and human folly.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
February Hunting all through the 10th towne this morning for some colored silken hand- kerchiefs like to those I bought in Paris, but could find none save those designed to be worn around the neck, a fashion which is, methinks, both silly and unbecoming. .. . To lunch- eon at an inn with Agnes Smith, who did outline to me so preposter- ous a plan for making reparation in an instance where it was plain to me she owed none that I burst forth, Don’t be quixotic! Quixotic, quoth Aggie, being Spanish for “A damn fool”. ...Sam and I to dine with the Whittles, who cultivate the intelli- gentsia, and several of the latter dropped in, to our dismay, and there was much discourse among them, as dull as it was incoherent. And one young man did dwell upon the fa- tuity of those who play at cards, or any game soever, until I was at some pains to hold my tongue. I had liefer seek relaxation in a brisk bout at bridge, which at least advantages one side or the other, than pass my time in footless talk which settles nothing. Moreover, I have always marked that persons who do not play at cards invariably mention the fact with pride. Lord! How many of us boast of things which we ought honestly to deplore! Like being un- able to eat cucumbers or to see any merit in poetry. February Lay late, pondering this 11th and that. How those to (Lord’s Day) whom a primrose by the river’s brim is simply that, are prob- ably better off, for aught I know, than others to whom it is consider- ably more. How nobody with less than twenty thousand a year should attempt to be Bohemian. For if I must ever eat Welsh Rarebit off pew- ter dishes, I needs must feel that the plate came at least from the Canter- bury cathedral. Wondering, too, just what the phrase “including the Scandinavian” signifies in the pub- lishing trade. Somehow it has given me the impression that the Swedes do not read. . . .To evensong for the music, and finding the church over- heated to suffocation, I did ask the sexton for some air. Whereupon he tilted one of the colored glass win- dows near me, so that the ransomed saint thereon pitched forward at an alarming angle which struck me as amusingly sacrilegious and kept me from achieving a state of mind meet for divine service. February Early up, and read the 12th journals carefully save for the news of the Southern resorts, which is more than I can bear. . . .B. Hawley to lunch- eon with me, and she so cast down in spirit that I was at my wits’ end to divert her. And the gist of my coun- sel was that the tragedy of to-day is the comedy of to-morrow, which I fear is scant comfort in the actual hour of affliction. . . .This day did I begin to break in a servant to replace my Emilie, but I could put no heart into it, for her first move was to throw out my finest undergarment and all the credit slips from the draper’s. And at the end of the day, I did feel ten years older. B. L. A Valentine ADY, at your dwelling’s door I, a humble suppliant, stand. And I beg, entreat, implore, Sue and ask you for your hand! For your hand, and if your heart Go therewith, why, that will be (In the parlance of the mart) So much velvet, kid, for me. Beauty you do not possess. Wealth may not be yours to shave; Notwithstanding, I confess That I simply do not care. Be, oh, be my Valentine! Be my love, my life, my soul ! Not a single lump is mine— You have fifteen tons of coal! B.1 Simpson’s New Hat HAT he said to his wife: “I’m going to buy a new hat to-morrow and this time I’m going to get one that will make me look young. My last five or six hats have been these velours—black or brown. This time I’m going to get something snappy in a green or tan felt. I can get what I want for three or four dollars. There's no sense in paying ten or twelve for something that you don’t like.” What he said to the salesman: “Something in a hat; size six and a half. Something in a green felt at about seven dollars. Well, { would go as high as ten. I know; but [| have been wearing one of those ve lours and I thought I'd like a change. Do you really think so? Of course, you're in the hat business and you ought to know. Well, twenty dollars was more than I wanted to pay but this is a good-looking velour ani it’s so dark and quiet.” What he said to his wife: “| tell you a business man can’t afford to run any risks with his clothes. Of course, I have the advantage of most fellows; the salesmen all know me personally and give me the best service. I know you'll like this new hat. It’s a dark velour. And it was a real bargain; only twenty dollars.” McC. H. AccorpiInc to the income tax statements it appears that many men have untold wealth. comicbooks.com