Life, 1923-02-01 · page 10 of 40
Life — February 1, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents satirical rewrites of Benjamin Franklin's famous aphorisms from *Poor Richard's Almanac*. The original maxims promoted thrift, hard work, and virtue; Life magazine's "revised" versions subvert these messages with cynical modern observations. For example, Franklin's "Early to bed and early to rise" becomes commentary on flapper culture. "A house without woman and firelight" is reframed to question marriage's value. References to drinking Scotch, bankruptcy, and sexual behavior mock Victorian morality and 1920s excess. The woodcut illustrations accompanying the text depict scenes of revelry, drunkenness, and domestic chaos—visually reinforcing the satire's critique of modern society's abandonment of Puritan ideals. The byline "T. H. L." indicates the revisions' author.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
POOR RICHARD’S ALMANAC Benj. Franklin’s Maxims—Revised Early to bed and early to rise— It’s the way of the flapper, before she gets “wise.” Vessels small may venture more But larger boats should keep outside the three-mile limit. A father should have an elephant’s ears, a centipede’s feet and an ass’s back. At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wife; at 40 the bank account. A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one, which explains why dramatic critics are wrong oftener than the man who “knows what he likes.” Even a fool, when he hath a well-stocked cellar, is counted wise. A good man is seldom uneasy; unless he happens to be married. A house without woman and firelight is like a body without soul or sprite—but it’s remarkable how di- vorce and steam heat reconcile us to the loss of both. In this world nothing is certain but death, taxes— and reformers. Wisdom is better than rubies, but try the acid test on both before deciding which to take. A “wise” son maketh a peevish father. An honest man will receive neither money nor praise that is not his due. You will recall that Diogenes never found one. A woman is as young as her make-up. A lie stands on one foot; truth on two—and the subway rider on his ncighbor’s. A man without a wife is but half a man. Hence the expression, “the better half.” The fresh-laid egg of to-day is the hard-boiled egg of to-morrow. A stitch in time saves the show from being closed. A husband is never without a reason; but seldom with a good one. Be always ashamed to catch thyself idle; especially when the boss catches at the same time. By diligence and patience the inouse bit in two the cable—and found it could do nothing with either half. Drunkeness, the worst of evils, makes some men fools, somé beasts and others bootleggers. Great modesty often hides great minds—but never in an actor. He that goes a borrowing, will not take “no” for an answer, He that drinks his Scotch alone, let him charm his snakes alone. A little neglect may breed. mischief: for want of some rouge, her color was lost; for want of her color, a suitor was lost; for want of a suitor, her temper was lost. Never leave till to-morrow any one you can do to-day. Three bankruptcy sales are as good as a fire. He that goes far to marry could have done just as badly at home. He that has not got a wife is not yet a complete man. When he is married, he is finished. Light wines—heavy heads. Love, and be sued. Nothing dries quicker than a bottle of Scotch. 4 Plough deep, while sluggards sleep. Soon they will be eating your crops. T. HSL: comicbooks.com