Life — January 25, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Modern Version Twenty years ago or so, there used to be a story of a negro boy who re- fused to carry a grip uptown for a traveling salesman. “Give you a quart- er,” offered the salesman. “I got a quarter, boss.” The same little darky, now grown, was encountered by a Kan- sas City man on a dark street the other night. The darky, we regret to say, was wiggling and wobbling along, quite well “corned.” As there was 1.0 one about, the Kansas City man shied to the edge of the sidewalk, giving the darky plenty of room. “Nev’ mind, mister,” the darky assured him. “I ain’t gonna hold you up. I got as much money as you have.”—Kansas City Star. Thought Transference A couple of high school principals were discussing various manifestations bordering on the occult. “Is thought transference possible?” asked one. “T fear not,” answered the other. “You seem to think there is no chance.” “No; if there were my students would hire a college professor to sit in class.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Proof Payinc TELLER: But, madam, you will have to be identified before I can cash this check for you. Fair CALLER (blushing furiously) : Oh, I just hate to do it, and George would be dreadfully angry, but I have a love letter here which describes me fully, if you would care to see it. —American Legion Weekly. Coming and Going “I wish the street cars would put their numbers on the back as well as the front.” “What good vould that do?” “Well, a fella likes to see what he missed.”—Washington Sun Dodger. Sure Relief pa fie rade 6 BELLANS Hot water == Sure Relief SELL-ANS 25¢ ano 75¢ PACKAGES EVERYWHERE HAMILTON HOTEL BERMUDA Open January 8.—3 Golf Courses Fireproof—400 Rooms—250 baths; The Hotel de Luxe of Bermuda Management of J. Sherrard N.Y. Office, S} Cables—' ‘Summer Hotel Pi Travel wenn: 425 | Sth Avenue. rmuda’’’ Booklet. LIFE Time Sages have sung in every clime In honeyed phrase of precious Time, From Heraclitus and the rest Down through Swoboda and E. Guest. They say it is the leisure hours You should employ to swell your Powers ; And that for intellect and force You take That Correspondence Course. The time X spends at bridge or dance Will make Y Captain of Finance, If he will occupy himself With Pelman and the Five Foot Shelf. Each moment to a task allot; Spare time, O Reader, spare it not. From verse like this you may divine How excellently I use mine. —“Eyak,’ in New York World. ‘The Perils of Education Whenever old Eben Toothaker doesn't understand what you say he says, “What say?” So do his neighbors. Old Eben’s wife noticed that he was somewhat depressed the evening after his boy had got back to the farm from his first year at college. “What's the matter, Eben?” she asked. “Mary, I've spent nine hundred dol- lars on that boy's education, and I’m afraid it’s wasted,” said Eben. “He don’t know as much as he did when he went to college.” “Why, what do you mean, father?” “Well, tonight I said to him that it looked to me 'sif it might rain tomor- row, and what do ye s’pose he said?” “Why, I don’t know. What did he ” “Well, sir, he begged my pardon!” —Youth's Companion. A Second Thought Sue: Have you bought any marks, Mr. Jones? He: No, my dear lady, I haven't; I very nearly bought one the other day, but I thought better of it. —Tatler (London). Harp-LookinG Tramp (to. passing motorist) : Hi, mister, I'm going your way! Passtnc Motorist: So I see, but I'll get there before you do. —Washington Star. “But this is one of the cleverest police dogs that we have.” “You'd never mow it by looking at “Well, you see, he belongs to secret police!” —Karikaturen (Christiar .). a dog Ow. x. c, Your Dog is exposed to distemper Traveling on trains, play- ing with other dogs on the street, on exhibition at Dog Shows, or even being patted by friendly hands. DELCREO not only cures distemper; it also prevents it. As long as Delcreo is in the system, dis- temper germs cannot gain a foothold. Delcreo is also unsurpassed as a tonic and conditioner. And for fleas, mange, eczema and other skin diseas- es, Delcreo Soluble Sulphur Compound, Bath Sulphur, and Sulphur Ointment are not only highly efficient, but also are easy to administer, and do not make the dog ob- jectionable during treatment. If Delcreo Dog Remedies are not carried by your ken- nel man or druggist, we will gladly ship them postpaid, to any address on receipt of price. Delcreo. . - +. $1.50 Soluble Sulphur Compound $1. 0 Soluble Bath Sulphur . . $1. Soluble Sulphur Ointment ‘$0 THE DELSON CHEMICAL CO., Inc. Dept. L 42 Penn Street, Brooklyn, N. Y. Everything in Its Place Proressor (to mew charlady): If you must move a thing, Mrs. Crad- dock, you should always put it back again. Why, your predecessor would even replace an empty match box exactly where she found it. New Cuarrapy: I expect, sir, that was just ’er sarcasm. —Humorist (London). comicbooks.com