Life — January 18, 1923 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

22 So you are Log out fora Keeping Up FTER all, no outside law or in- fluence can do half as much as our own inhibitions to keep us moral, dignified, soft-voiced, and uninterest- ing. Outside control can never be half as bad as self-control. The law can’t make anybody in- hibit. No more than it can make him testify against himself. So I have a neat little plan. Every time Congress passes another con- stitutional amendment, I am going to get even by abolishing a few of my inhibitions. Thank goodness, I have plenty of them. If I use them up carefully I can, I figure, have a lot of fun and freedom the rest of my life. I think this is the best way to get around the increasing tendency of other people to run my life for me. As long as we submit ourselves to self-imposed inhibitions, isn’t it un- fair to criticize others for inflict- ing restrictions upon us? Who can blame them? Why should I worry about the “new narrowness” of the world when I have so many narrow- nesses of my own? Why should I criticize Prohibition, for example, when I am guilty of inhibition? My system really saves a lot of good liquor (even when it is avail- able). You simply start out and become the life of the party with- out waiting for artificial aid. Saves time, too. You simply don’t care what you do or say, and there you are—as good as stewed. Just ignore your inhibitions. I expect to throw off my inhibi- tions at the rate of about half good time tonight? LIFE - Veo, not going to hb a Be tnipht with the Law dency of the world towards moral and mental strictness persists. I have been driven to it. There is too much control in this world. Well, I can at least cut down on my self-control. D.H. Man From Iowa (questioning a New York policeman): I'm tryin’ to find a place to park my car. Where the heck is this here Park Avenue anyhow? “ProvIDENCE tempers the wind to the shorn lamb’”— “Brhh!” shivered the lamb, “that’s a sheep-shearer’s theory !” Texas Pete: At Evening OW calm the sea. The silver, shimmered path Of moonlight dances lightly to that line Where once the night’s horizon toss- ed in wrath. The horror of the wind’s shrill, anguished whine Has gone. A lullaby as soft as sleep Is singing through the tree-tops on the land. The peace of old has settled on the deep And evening's solitude upon the strand Oh, gently, mighty waters, kiss the shore, Fair bride, eternal wedded to the wave. Treat kindly those forever beating o'er Your untracked ways; oh, smile on them and save That gallant ship for whom I stand and watch, Full-freighted to the Plimsoll mark with Scotch. J.K.M Now look here, old top, how can the lion and the Islam lie down together ? Looks to me like your friend has lost his stirrup. a dozen a day, if the present ten- Tenderfoot: No, there it is hanging from the saddle. comicbooks.com