Life, 1923-01-11 · page 12 of 36
Life — January 11, 1923 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **Left Column - "My Husband Says":** A humorous domestic anecdote (signed L.B.S.) about a wife's failed dinner party. She attempted to impress guests (the Pugsley-Steltons) with artistic table decoration using a fish bowl and goldfish, but the experiment backfired when a fish died during dinner, creating an awkward moment. **Right Column - "Almost Chemically Pure":** An article about the "99.44-Per-Cent American" movement, discussing efforts to be authentically American. It quotes various perspectives on American identity, immigration, and government, with some gentle satire about nationalist standards and the difficulty of achieving complete "purity." **Bottom Illustration:** A cartoon showing two men in a rowboat, one asking how they'll retrieve their sunken cargo. The caption references a "Pursued Rumrunner," indicating Prohibition-era bootlegging humor—the boat had to dump illegal alcohol ("cargo") to avoid capture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
My Husband Says HAT he owes a man some money and, anyhow, every one is pleased with a little social attention, and said we must ask the Pugsley-Steltons to dinner. They spell their name that way— es. With a hyphen in the middle. They are awfully fastidious, and have a butler and everything. We have no butler, but I thought we could, at least, have things artistic. I think every one should do that. means so much. So I planned the dearest table decoration. I filled a big flat bowl with water to look like a lake, and I walked ever so far to get some lovely wet moss to bank around it.e Then I put in a red gold fish and a yellow one. I just hate to touch raw fish, they are so slimy; so I used a fork and a spoon to transfer them to the bowl. During dinner one of them died and floated on top of the water. My husband said it made him sick to look at it, but I didn’t mind, for it was the red one that died, and it faded out to a heavenly shade of pink. The Pugsley-Steltons did not care for any salad or dessert and they had another engagement and went home early. L. B.S. One's environment Almost Chemically Pure EARLY every one has tried during the last few years to be a 100-Per-Cent. American. That many of us have failed is due not su much to lack of effort on our part as to the terribly high standards set by the 100- Per-Centers. Since we have done our best, we feel that those who have tried and failed should be given some rec- ognition, and to that end we ask public support for the League of 99.44-Per-Cent. Americans. To give you an idea of what the League stands for, here are a few of its articles of belief: “It might be just as well to omit the third stanza of ‘The Star Spangled Banner,’ because nobody knows it anyway.” “We admit that grand opera in our own language has not been very successful.” “The pauper labor of Europe sometimes makes pretty good merchandise.” “Some of our best friends are immigrants.” “Living under a democratic form of government is a priceless privilege, but there are certain annoyances.” “The government at Washington still lives, but we can't quite explain why.” If you can subscribe to these articles, you are qualified to become a 99.44-Per-Center in good standing. Send in your application. S.K. Pursued Rumrunner ( who has had to sink his cargo): But how'll we ever find it again, Pat? Pat: Make yer mind aisy about that, Cap. I opened the bung. comicbooks.com