Life — January 4, 1923 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Watch your gums = bleeding a sign of trouple | EDICAL science knows how serious is the sign of bleeding gums. For it knows that tender and bleeding gums are the forerun- ners of Pyorthea, that dread disease which afflicts four out of five people over forty. If the disease is unchecked, the gum- line recedes, the teeth decay, loosen and fall out, or’ must be extracted to rid the system of the Pyorrhea poisons generated at their base — poisons | which seep into the system and wreck the health, They cause ¢ matism, nervous disorders, anaemia, ‘and many other ills. To avoid Pyorthea, visit your dentist often for teeth and inspection, and use Forhan's For the Gums.’ Forhan's For the Gums will prevent Pyorrhea—or check its progress—if used in time and used consistently. Ordi tifrices cannot gat teh white and. clean, tart using it today. IF gume shrinkage has already set in, use Forhan’s according to ions and. consult your dentist immediately for spe- ial treatment. 35e and 606, in the Uni su and Canaae *S Formula of B. J. Forban, D. D. 8. FORHAN Co, New York FOR THE GUMS ces oe) would I have such an opportunity. I must make the most of it. I must get Witherby in a crowd. “Witherby,” I would then begin _casually, “have you ever met Lady Lumme?” “No,” Witherby would say unsus- Piciously, “who’s Lady Lumme?” Then—THEN— “My dear fellow,” I would reply, “don’t tell me you've never heard of Lor’ Lumme! Lor’ Lumme!” And that would be the end of Witherby. Poor chap, after all— with his ideas of creative integrity. But when I saw him at the club, I was merciless. I waited till the gang were within earshot, then I pounced. “Witherby,” I began casually, “have you ever met Lady Lumme?” “Never, old man,” retorted With- erby, “but I know her husband— Lor’ Lumme!” And as I tottered: “Hey, fellows,’ he whooped, “did you hear the dandy I just got off? Enderby here asked me if——” Poor Witherby’s widow: the in- surance company called it a plain case of suicide. G. R. Why Not? Orrice Boy: I want a little time off to get a hair cut. Boss: What! Get your hair cut in Company time? “Sure; it grew in Company time.” Love is flighty. When Poverty comes in at the door, Experience locks the windows. My Joke ’VE always envied those inspired devils who can say “now for a joke,” and then sit right down and think up a howler. I've always en- vied Witherby. Witherby is fuller of cracks than the Liberty Bell. But don’t ask him to give you one. I did. “Enderby,” chided = Witherby, “misappropriation of creative credit is the most heinous crime conceiv- able. For your own sake, I must refuse.” And I was so darned mad I went right home and read every oath in the dictionary. Then suddenly— right out of the dictionary—sprang the incredible: the subtle, glorious wheeze of a century! And in my rapture I knew Witherby to be right. If any man ever. tried to take my joke from me... All that night I lay awake, rolling my miracle over and over-on my tongue: savoring it—smoothing its edges—preparing it for Witherby’s annihilation. Never again, I knew, MADISON AVE., 43rd TO 44th STREETS NEW YORK Tea in the Palm Room Dancing in the Supper Room HAMILTON HOTEL BERMUDA Open January 8.—3 Golf Courses Fireproof—100 Rooms—250 baths; The Hotel de Luxe of Bermuda Management of J. A. Sherrard N. Y. Office, Spur Travel Bureau, 425 Sth Avenue. Cables—‘‘Hotel Bermuda’’’ Booklet. ‘Summer Hotel Preston, Beach Bluff, Mass. 1 Aspirin Say “Bayer” and Insist! | Unless you see the name “Baye!” on package or on tablets you are not get- ting the genuine Bayer product pri ibed by physicians over twenty-two years and proved safe by millions for Colds Headache Toothache Lumbago Farache Rheumatism Neuralgia Pain, Pain Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin” only. Each unbroken package contains |) proper directions. Handy boxes of | twelve tablets cost few cents. Drug also sell bottles of 24 and 100. A of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid. The Dying Year (She: First Traveler) IOMRADE mine, with a plaintive sighing, Mark ye not that the year is dying? Comrade mine, amid swirling snow- ing, See ye not that the year is going? Mark ye not that the year is dying With wail of wave and the sad wind’s crying? See ye not that the year is going With the sand in the hour-glass swi't down-flowing ? (He: Second Traveler) Yea, I know that the year is dyins But what of the one that is hithe hying ? Yea, I know that the year is going; But what of the one like a bud out- blowing? What of the one that is hither hy ing? “Hope!” says a jubilant voice reply ing. What of the one like a bud out-blow- ing? “A flower of Joy in Life’s garden growing !” C..S. comicbooks.com