Life — December 28, 1922 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Gallery A lover and his lass sought a secluded lane, but, to their disgust, a small boy arrived there too. Homecoming Jack Mahon, the dramatic critic, tells of a stormy Celt who was having a bad day after the night before. As he was leaving for home, he said: “If my wife hasn’t dinner ready she is going to get the worst bawling out she ever got. And if it is ready, I’m not going to eat a thing.”—Atlanta Constitution. A Change of Weapons Cuatty STRANGER (to itinerant sword-swallower): Just the same, it must make you very thirsty to swallow swords like that all day long. Sworp-SwaLLoweR: Oh well, every so often I swallow a gun. —Le Rire (Paris). He Wanted Proof “John, I must have some new clothes: Other women can’t tell me from my “Why, my dear, has some other wom- an been trying to hire you away?” —Boston Transcript. “Oh, absolutely. Correct this sentence: “He was poor and ragged, but the police treated him with courtesy.”—Detroit Free Press. N'IMPORTE “Married or single?” “That has nothing to do with you.” It’s quite the same to me either way.” —Sans-Géne Said the lover: “Here’s a penny; go and get some sweets.” “T don’t want any sweets.” “Well, here’s a shilling. Run away.” “T don’t want a shilling.” “Then here's half a crown.” “T don’t want half a crown.” “Well, what do you want?” “I want to watch.” —Tit-Bits (London). East and West Many a rich Chinese merchant of to- day is waked up by an American alarm clock, talks to an American telephone and ride$ an American motor car. Over here an American is waked up by an American telephone, talks to an American motor car and rides an American alarm clock. —Louisville Courier-Journal Unmerciful Disaster MotHer: Johnny, don’t run so fast around the house. You'll fall and hurt If I don’t run fast it'll hurt Dad’s chasing me. —Michigan Gargoyle. wives never believe what Paris). Cas) ‘Atchison Globe. Lire. is published y Thursday, simultaneous Great Britain, Canad: British Possessions. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Addi countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. numbers cannot be supplied. in the United States, tle registered in U. S. nal postage to foreign Back . The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, F. C., England. Breams_ Buildings, . News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. addressed envelope. I non-return of unsolicited contributions. The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, The American No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or Notice of change of address should reach this office two wecks prior to the date of issue to be affected. “You Really Need It Every Week! Make Sure of it for the New Year!” e unlike other specialists, makes no charge for his advice. For a real mental toning up sub- scribe to LIFE and keep in touch with the latest and brightest fun of the day, packed right in the original carton, fresh from the manufacturers, Try it yourself for a year, or, Obey That Impulse, and for a trial trip, avail yourself of our Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for the next ten weeks to Open only to new subscribers; no subscriptions renewed at this rate, LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York One year $5 Canadian $5.80 Foreign $6.60 (96) . “Sarah, that vase is worth four hundred dollars!” ‘Not now, mum, it ain’t.” comicbooks.com