Life — November 23, 1922 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iu His Professional Manner We like very much the story of the dentist who went fishing and was dis- gusted at landing a large and orotund catfish. He seized the beast firmly round its waist and began to work the hook out. Quite automatically and with his usual air of courteous firmness he bespoke the fish. “Open wide,” he said. —New York Evening Post. They All Do “I know something I won't tell,” sang a little girl, as little girls do. “Never mind, child,” said the old bachelor. “You'll get over that when you're a little older.” —Topeka Capital. The Melancholy Days “October,” says a press humorist, “is summer’s colored supplement.” Then November must be its Congres- sional Record.—Boston Transcript. Madam? The peke is playing ‘with your pearl necklace. Mistress: Take it from him at once. He might swallow one and get ‘appendicitis. —Reproduced from Punch (London) by arrangement with the proprietors. Cotorep Orricer: Eyes right! Brack Private: You am like hell. —Penn State Froth. Lire _is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in_U. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to for: countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be suppli addressed envelope. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. Silk shirts ~custom made or ready to wear— the best of each bears an Empire Loomcraft Silks label A novelty for this season- Empire Washable Silk Mufflers At the best shops Look for the label Breams_ Buildings, London, E. C. News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canad: No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions, Notice of change of address should reach this office two wecks prior to the date of issue to be affected. Daniel’s Dissatisfaction, Tue Kine: ‘I hope you will find your room comfortable, Daniel. DanteL: Well, sire, it’s a bit of a What do you mean? : It’s full of livestock. Tue Kino: Nonsense! What kind of livestock? Daniet: Well, sire, it’s simply crawling with lions, Tue Kine (after a pause): All I can say is—if there are any lions there, you must have brought them down with you! —London Morning Post, Once in a Lifetime “There are some great moments in this life.” “There are, and I sometimes think the greatest thrill of all comes to the former village wag who returns to his home town as the star of a minstrel show.” —Birmingham Age-Herald, The Moral Aspect Irate Parent (to little girl watch- ing organ grinder) : Evangeline, come away from that foreign musician. Whatever could I say to your father if you were to come under the influence of the passionate music of Italy? —Bulletin (Sydney). The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, C. Canadian distributor, The American comicbooks.com pan Whi thin thar othe teal atic