Life — November 2, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

October Had my luncheon ca 26th day in a tea-room, only because it was the near- est eating-place and I in a great rush. The meal costing me close upon five dollars, too, the portions being but sample size and I at the necessity of ordering four or five in order to get my fill. Had naught but chicken salad and coffee, neither. Lord! how is it that my sex, for which those publicks are run, can ask so little in the way of comfort and convenience? For they did give me a child’s nap- kin, and there was no cloth at all on the table save a silly doily. . . . My maid Virgie tells me of her de- sire to start a course at Pratt Insti- tute come All Saints’ Day, and I- have not the heart to hinder her, though having her only half time will try me sorely. And now I must needs get me a servant for the mornings, and it does seem that if it isn’t one thing in this life, it’s another. . . . To the playhouse to see “Spite Cor- ner,” a pleasant piece full of village talk. And on leaving I did catch a thread of my hose on a snag in one of the chairs, thereby ruining them utterly. Sorely pained, for I had but recently laid out seven and a half dollars on them. October Lay late, reading in 27th Willa Cather’s “One of Ours,” and upon finish- ing it burst into tears, I know not why. Miss Cather is, methinks, the leading American writer, and one with a true claim to greatness foras- much as she combines restraint with imagination and feeling. But Lord! I do wish that she would write about characters a do not live in the state of Nebraska! . . . My friend Edith Whittemore to see me, with great talk of a doctor who is to re- duce her thirty pounds without ef- fort on her part. And I do think seriously of taking her for observa- tion to Dr. Brill, the great psycho- pathist. She having paid five hun- dred dollars down to this obesity quack, and knowing as well as I that there is but one way to lose weight—namely, to stop eating. October Early up, and resolved 28th to speak to cook about the coffee, which grows worse daily. With all that science and invention have done for man, why is it well nigh impossible for him to get a good cup of coffee? Methinks I have had but two or three since I left my father’s house. . . . My husband, the great zany, did come home in high glee over the recipe for a new cocktayle. A better one, he said, than ever he had tasted in his life. Whereupon he mixed several, out of lime juice, syrup, Scotch whiskey, gin, and God knows what else. I did taste one, very fine indeed. Samuel, gradually emptying the shaker unassisted, fell a-singing of one of his hymns, “There Is a Happy Land Far, Far Away!” And I wished that he could seek it tem- porarily. . . . All the evening at Russian Bank, and resolved never to play it again until I have an affidavit of procedure from Mr. Foster. For Lord! everybody has rules of his own. . . . And so to bed, after be- ing forced ‘by Samuel to pay the pit- tance I lost to him. B.L. Radio Football Report NY moment now we shall have the football returns coming in over our parlor radios, play by play, cheer by cheer, and injury by in- jury. But such service is not com- plete. Every man and some girls who have gone through the open season for big games know that the night before in the college town often has it all over the following afternoon in the college stadium, for assorted excitement. Why not some report on those doings as well, s from 9:30 Pp. M. Friday to 3 a. m. Saturday? For the benefit of those whom deafness, broken antennz, carbon- ized diaphragms or other physical disabilities may eliminate from tie proper enjoyment of broadcasted bulletins, we append a report that might very well be rendered as sug- gested above. “Station FOB Detroit talking -Weather for to-night, wet... . This quaint little college town is already crowded with the throngs arriving to witness to-morrow’s con- test. .. . A committee of the younger members of the freshman class has started to remove the gates from in front of the houses along Main Street. . . . They have eighteen yards to go.... Recent arrivals on the north curbstone include several lead- ing lights of the Class of Ninety- eight—all lit... . A stranger just asked an alumnus if he could get him seven tickets in the center of the field on the shady side. The police are trying to prevent a lynching. .. .They were outnumbered. Biffo Biffums, Oughty-ought’s famous cheer leader, has led a new consign- ment of cheer te his class headquar- ters. He is boasting that he is the guy who will put a head on the head- quarters, to say nothing of the quart in it. . The glee ‘club is hold- ing an open-air concert and parade. . .. No, it is not the glee club after all, and it is more a parade than « concert. . . . Baldy Baldwin has just driven up with a casket... . Cor rect error in that last bulletin; for casket, read cask... . Two mem bers of Fourteen just gathered on that lamp-post in front of Joe’s an’ one is asking the other about the chances for tomorrow. . The other is saying what chances. . . . Th other replies what chances for what ... This makes it unanimous. . Nighty-night.” A.C. M.A comicbooks.com