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Life, 1922-10-19 · page 34 of 36

Life — October 19, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

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Life — October 19, 1922 — page 34: Life, 1922-10-19

What you’re looking at

This page combines advertisements with satirical fiction. The main satire is a short story titled "Fiction While You Wait," which mocks the formulaic nature of popular romance fiction. The narrator deliberately presents a WWI love story with intentional vagueness—the heroine's eye color is "entirely optional," her hair can be "dark as a raven" or "yellow as gold," and the plot relies on convenient contrivances (amnesia, hospital bombings, lost identification tags) that allow the lovers to lose track of each other. The joke targets readers who consume predictable romance narratives without demanding specificity or originality. By offering interchangeable details, the author exposes how such stories are assembled from stock elements rather than genuine storytelling. The surrounding advertisements—for Forhan's toothpaste, Bayer Aspirin, and Krementz jewelry—represent the commercial apparatus supporting such mass-market entertainment in this era.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[ The dread Pyorrhea | | begins with bleeding gums | | ea an 'Sinfecting germs cause. science has pee te aaa Gaordert and cinet dasascs have traced in many cases to this Pyorrhea infection io gor a workits wicked ‘will on your . Visit your is Frequently for teeth and gum itv |] spection. pnd watch tch vour gums yourself 4 Pyorrhe: licts four out Cire pecplcover forty bens wah tender and bleed 3: Pyrthea or check i Progress—if used, in time ed set in ‘use iarvsessording to deeds and consult a dentist imme> FOR THE GUMS ‘ LIFE - Fiction While You Wait The Very Busy Business Man De- cides to Write Another Short Story OE JONES is the hero of this story. Mathilde Jackson is the heroine. The reader doubtless will recall the Germano-Allies War. Well, Joe took an active part in it. He was badly wounded at Chateau-Thierry, in the Argonne, or some such place. While convalescing in a hospital he was treated by an American nurse, Mathilde Jackson, from Iowa, but a very beautiful girl, She had blue eyes, gray eyes, brown eyes, or any sort of eyes you happen to prefer— it’s entirely optional with the reader. Her hair was as dark as that of a raven, as red as fire, as yellow as gold, or what you will—readers dif- fer in taste and we aim to please. Joe and Mathilde fell in love with each other. After returning to the front Joe was wounded again. This time he was sent to another hospital—at Ypres, Rheims, St. Nazaire, or some place like that. His identification tag had been shot off and confused with another one. As a result he was reported as dead. This second wound caused him to have amnesia, aphasia, or whatever it is they have when they lose their memories. Any- how he couldn’t tell them who he was. The same thing happened to Ma- thilde when her hospital was bombed. Consequently, having no memories, they sort of lost track of each other. Books Received The Man Who Lived in_a Shoe, by Henry James Forman (Little, Brown). An Instrument. of the Gods, by Lincoln Col- cord (Macmillan). A Mother's Garden of Verse, by Rosalind Psidekoner 5 Greene (Stratford Company, Boston, Shoes of the > Wind, by Hilda Conkling (Stokes). Playing with Souls, by Countess de Chambrun (Scribner's). The. Cave Woman, by Norval Richardson (Scribner's). An Introduction to Poetry, by Jay B. Hubbell and John O, Beaty (Macmillan). Letters to. Djinn, by Grace Zaring Stone (Cent When the West Was Young, by Frederick R. Bechdolt (Century). Mummers in Mufti, by Philip Curtiss (Cen- The Pegends of Smokeover, by L. P. Jacks (Hodder & Stoughton). Old Morocco and the Forbidden Atlas, by C. E, Andrews (Doran). Worth While, by W. A. Rogers Harper). Te Indge, by Rebecca West (Doran). A Gift Book for My Mother, by Harrison Rhodes (Harper). Tutors’ Lane, by Wilmarth Lewis enoel A Kipling Aecolony (Doubleda: ay Your Inner r Self, y Dr. Louis eee day, Pag The boy Who Lived in Pudding Lane, by Sarah Addington (Atlantic Monthly Press). In_the Days of Poor Richard, by Irving Bacheller’ (Bobbs-Merrill). Winter Comes to Main Street, by Grant ee pon ). @ London Doll, Edited by Mra femoirs ne (oy stil i Life, by J. Middleton Murry (Dutton), — For evenin tz tuxedo e correct, KREMENTZ & CO., Newark, N. J. TUXEDO SET _ Grey Mother of Peatt 1003 KP Links $3.50 pair 1005 KP 3 Sede $2.00 Aspirin Say “Bayer” and Insist! Unless you see the name “Bayer” on package or on tablets you are not ge- ting the genuine Bayer product prescribed by physicians over twenty-two years and proved safe by millions for Colds Headach« Toothache Lumbago Earache Rheumatism Neuralgia Pain, Pain Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin’ only. Each unbroken package contains proper directions. Handy boxes of twelre tablets cost few cents. Druggists also sell bottles of 24 and 100. Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicy! After the Armistice Joe joined the army of occupation. He managed to slip in, despite his amnesi: We could tell you how he did it, but it would take up too much space. While in Germany, or wherever it was the army of occupation was stationed, Joe met a fellow named Jim Jackson and they became pals. After the withdrawal they returned to America together. Just before they landed Joe bumped his head against a door or something and re- gained his memory. “Mathilde!” was the first word he said after re- covering consciousness. Jim Jackson invited Joe to go home with him to Keokuk and of- fered to assist him in the search for the long-lost Mathilde. Joe eagerly accepted. Joe, upon their arrival in Keokuk, was introduced to Jim’s parents. Presently, while they were all seated K on the porch, or piazza—or whatever they call it in Keokuk—a beautiful girl suddenly appeared in the shadow of the doorway. “Mr. Jones,” said Jim’s father, “meet my daughter, Mathilde Jack- son!” But it wasn’t the same Mathilde Jackson. ' BLP, comicbooks.com