Life, 1922-09-21 · page 10 of 36
Life — September 21, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical play script mocking bureaucratic inefficiency and police incompetence. Officer O'Toole and The Citizen debate trivial matters while a crime occurs nearby—a loft robbery and murder of an old lady. The humor satirizes how officers get distracted by irrelevant details (recipes, poetry, religious quotations) instead of preventing actual crimes. Officer O'Toole obsesses over a rulebook while his duty goes unfulfilled. The illustration shows children playing on a broken fence, seemingly oblivious to danger—perhaps reflecting the play's theme that negligent authorities leave citizens vulnerable. The title suggests incompetence ("mooning"—wasting time foolishly) regarding criminal "flies" (petty criminals or the criminals themselves). This critiques early 20th-century police bureaucracy prioritizing procedure over actual crime prevention.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE The Mooning of the “Flies” An Indisposed Play, Slightly Disposed Toward Lady Gregory Scene: A fixed post. Officer O’Toole is lean- ing against the side of a wall with his eyes closed. Guardian of the law he is, to be sure, but always the dreamer. Orricer O'T. (musingly): One can of malt syrup, ten pounds of brown sugar, two yeast . . . An AcrtaTep Citizen: Officer—down the there's a loft being robbed. Orricer O'T. (opening his eyes): Ah, say ye so? Tue Citizen: Yes! Yes! For Heaven's love, come quickly. Orricer O’T.: What manner of world’s wickedness there be! There was the man who promised marriage to me old-niaid cousin Dora. There was the man who stole Uncle Anthony's pigs— Tue Citizen: Officer, before it is too late... OrFicer O'T Very like you, too, he was. And yet ye may be honest— THE Citizen (eagerly): long. And public spirited! Orricer O’T.: Aye, ye may well be that. Who am | to judge? (From his blouse he draws a little book.) Tue Citizen: Ah, for shame! It’s your revolver you should be drawing, not your prayerbook. OrFicer O'T Wisha! For shame you. ‘Tis the Commissioner's own instructions to his New York lads. street I am honest—as the day is Tue Citizen: They have shot the night watchman Orricer O'T.: Be still! (Reverently, he thumbs the pages of the little book. Ah, now here we are—reads.) “For cleaning white gloves.” No, that’s not it, neither, Tue Citize Nor will it ever be unless you hasten, Orricer O'T. (lost in rapt examination of the book): What says Fisher Ames? “The thought of the people shall be law,” he sa: “Be ye therefore as wise as ser- pents and as harmless as doves . That’s the Old Testament. Ah, here, sir, is a choice bit. Pray you, listen : “Hail to thee blithe spirit, Bird thou never wert... Tue Citizen (shrouding his eyes): They are mur- dering an old lady. Oh! Oh! OrFicer O'T. (still engaged with the book): Here is antidotes for poisons and here is elementary palmistry Here is cooking recipes and here the manual of night- stick swinging. A beautiful volume, done be a beautiful character. Richard the Lion Heart we call him... Tue Citizen: Officer, in the name of Mercy— Orricer O'T. (closing book reverently): I see me duty clear. By the rules of the book I must listen re- spectfully to ye. Yet I may not be engaged in conversa- tion by ye or with ye. Could you not, then, be more en- tertaining? Have ye no Tom Moore? Do ye not know “Watcha runnin’ for, Bill? Is there a fire at your house?” “Naw, I’m just hurryin’ so I'll get there before I get tired.” comicbooks.com