Life — September 7, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

12 LIFE— SUNDAY EDITION kk Wo! \AN' THE WOMAN ON THE AVENUE A rather recherché idea, just imported from | dear old Paree, is being shown in some of the shops of the better sort. Cute little jeweled cases made to hold your favorite plug or long cut made up in trés charmant pack- ages. One of the season’s most popular debu- tantes created quite a furore last week by| promenading up the Avenue leading a tame zebra by a dainty pink ribbon. She says that she brought him from Deauville where pet zebras have become all the rage. It is hoped that this pretty custom will “catch on” here. A lady from East Tawas, Michigan, writes us that she has found a way to use the pins that the laundry puts in her husband’s shirts. “I take two pieces of cardboard,” she writes, “three and a half inches by six. Through them I push the pins so that the points, pro- jecting on the other side in even parallel rows, cover the entire surface of the cardboard. When finished it makes an attractive and in-| expensive pair of military brushes, I intend | to make several pair this year for yuletide | gifts.” Six cakes of yeast, a quart of hops, and a silver plated bottle top fastener, all packed in a beautifully lacquered box, will make a); welcome gift for your daughter at college. FACTOGRAMS Do you know that: More Than 10,000 thread-crossings are made in fashioning the average suit of clothes? George Washington was the first President of the United States, Warren Gamaliel Harding being the twenty- ninth? Scientists have proved that fish cannot live more than a few minutes without a mixture of hydro- gen and oxygen? In 1895 $500 was considered a large price for an oil painting, but nowadays $100,000 is not con- sidered excessive for certain types? Port Jervis, N. Y. in 1910 had an altitude of 441 feet above sea level? Horseback Riding is no new sport? Recent archaeological re- searches prove that it was indulged in as far ( it Re ISS By Helen Halibut 'Tis Love, ‘tis Love that makes the world go round, When husband comes in the door, Sweetie | flies out of the window. The hit-and-run is a good play in its place, but the kiss-and-run is the play to bring a man home. In a taxi-cab, kisses are merely a form of meter insurance, The greatest wonder in the world—“Where do you suppose he can be to-night?” A cat is permitted to look at a king. And then she takes it upon herself to remark how frumpy his wife is. WHAT DID YOU SEE TODAY ? “EVERY READER A REPORTER” ONE “ON HIM” On Fifth Avenue and Thirty-fourth street in Tuesday’s midday crowd, a well-dressed, re- spectable man sneaked up behind a fashionably dressed, respectable woman. When directly in back of her, he raised his umbrella and brought it smartly down upon her head, crying, as he | did so, “Cuckoo,” in a loud voice. The woman turned around and exclaimed angi “Sir, what the h. 1 are you trying to do The man’s discomfiture was comical to see. He blushed violently, and finally stammered out, “Ex me, lady, I mistook you for my wife! laughed heartily over his absurd mistake—Wu Ting Fang, 1 Riverside Drive. MIRACLES WILL HAPPEN While waiting in the subway for a Hunts Point local last Michaelmas Eve, I noticed a man go up to a slot machine, insert a coin, press the plunger and immediately receive a piece of chewing gum. As the train was rather slow in coming, four other men were prompted to do the same thing. A fifth man secured a bit of sweet chocolate—Mohandas Chuckerjee, The New York Aquarium, Battery Place. A WOMAN’S PRIVILEGE At the soda fountain of the Farmers’ Loan & Trust Company, I noticed a young wornan order what she called a “Vampire’s Scream.” The soda clerk took a long dish. He then placed in it two slices of raw banana, a portion each of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream, four maraschino cherries, a spoonful of shredded pineapple, another of crushed raspberry, another of caramel syrup and another of hot maple fudge. Over this he sprinkled a plentiful dusting of powdered malted milk and garnished the whole with whipped cream and several slices of orange. As the clerk placed the completed confection upon the counter before her, the young woman changed her order to a small glass of grape back as the time of Alexander the Great? juice—LeR. M., East Peapack, N. PAGE Maxims of a Bachelor Maid | AUNT POLLY’S CHATS WITH YOUNG GIRLS Have you ever thought, my dears, how many tears and heartaches you could save yourselves if you but knew the rudiments of Differential Calculus. So many girls write to their Aunt Polly each week to ease their broken hearts——broken hearts that might have been spared had they learned in time. If I had my way no young girl would go forth to face the snares and pitfalls that be- set her in this wicked world, until she had first learned the divine principles of Differ- ential Calculus and the Theory of Surds and Determinants. “Aunt Polly, dearest,” writes “Heartbrok- en” on daintily scented pink notepaper, “I’m in a jam because the goof I’m keeping com- pany with catches me with a cake eater at Coney and beans me with a crowbar.” Don’t you see, “Heartbroken,” that your silly thoughtless conduct may have unwit- tingly given pain to others. But it is clear to Aunt Polly that the fault lies, not with “Heartbroken,” but with those who did not warn her in time. From her letter it is plain that the little lamb does not know even the binomial theorem, much less the rules of Differential Calculus. My dears, let the fate of poor little “Heart- broken” be a lesson to you. Seize your op- portunity before it is too late. Then when you have mastered Calculus and the Surds and Determinants (how I used to adore them when I was your age!) perhaps you will find time for a little Rotary Engineering, so that you may realize the ambition that your Aunt Polly has for you, and become fine, clean and generous American women. Tomorrow’s Menus For a family of parents, two children, and night watchman, one small steer should be enough to provide the break- fast chipped beef. Rice is at the height of its season now, and the thoughtful | housekeeper should let the family have | more than they can eat of it. | Breakfast | Moulded Rice with Watercress Sugar ream Chipped Beef, served in Package Toast Coffee Butter Luncheon Bread and Butter Sandwiches Water Bread Butter Dinner Stuffed Tomato Bisque Laughter Barbecued Ox Corn on Cob Plum Pudding Shouts of “go on! Individual Turkish Baths | ers | Corn off Cob | Applause comicbooks.com