Life, 1922-08-17 · page 24 of 36
Life — August 17, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains three satirical pieces targeting American social pretension and behavior: **"Horoscope for This Week"** mocks credulous believers in astrology and pseudoscience. The horoscope sarcastically claims the planetary alignment favors "hokum"—fraudulent schemes like patent medicines, "monkey glands" (quack rejuvenation treatments), and "artificial vermouth." It warns practitioners to avoid legal trouble for larceny and food fraud violations, and jokingly suggests children born that week risk becoming Democrats. **"The Talkems"** is a humorous poem satirizing garrulous people of various ethnicities and nationalities—Eskimos, Hottentots, Chinese, and Irish (referencing "Sinn Feiner," Irish nationalists). The joke is that compulsive talkers transcend all cultures and backgrounds, and are universally annoying. **"How to Take a Bath (Any Boy's Idea)"** humorously catalogs the procrastination and resistance tactics boys employ to avoid bathing—delay, complaint, fidgeting—depicting childhood reluctance to hygiene. All three pieces target human weakness, gullibility, and universal behavioral quirks with gentle satire typical of *Life*'s approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Horoscope for This Week HIS week is successful for Hokum. According to every astrologer who ever wore a conical hat, all the signs of the zodiac are hovering close to the earth this week and are in favor of hokum rule, which means that the bunk of every fairly busy brain ought to go over big. Thus it is a great week for go-get- ters, fighting salesmen, 100% Ameri- cans, he-men with a big, virile mes- sage, professional reformers, and immigrant boys who have worked themselves up from gas-fitters to a full-page picture in the American Magazine. A slightly shimmying motion of Venus and Mercury has the effect of doubling Barnum’s law of one sucker per minute, so that the astrological map is just right for selling patent medicines, memory systems, beauty cultures, will power developers, character builders, mon- key glands, theosophy, and artificial vermouth. If you are in any of these businesses, however, the heav- enly bodies warn you to avoid legal complications, particularly those as- sociated with larceny, the food and drugs act, and the statute of frauds. Children born to-day are in danger of becoming Democrats. “I want two books.” “What kind of books, please?” “Oh, just a couple of books for a woman of about thirty-seven,” The Talkems 'HE Talkem family is sure In every climate to endure. There’s Talkymuch, the Eskimo; Though icebergs come and icebergs go His talk is ever on the flow! And there is Talky Hottentot; No matter how the sun is hot He jabbers pagan polyglot! Young Ah Wee Talk, the Chinese boy, Finds conversation such a joy His neighbors stop their ears with soy! O'Grady Talk is no abstainer; He calls himself a bold Sinn Feiner, Would he less fluent were—and saner ! The noted Ancient Mariner A Talkem was, beyond compare; A specimen extraordinaire. Wherever a true Talkem goes, Whatever be his joys or woes, He tells you, hourly, all he knows. By dint of words’ agglomeration The Talkems, of whatever nation. Excite a monstrous irritation. The Moral—weighty, though a wee one: Avoid a Talkem when you see onc, First being cautious not to be one. C.S. P. W. How to Take a Bath (Any Boy's Idea) [UT it off as long as possible. Set about it under protest. Toy with the faucets until the tub is ready to overflow. Whine out a complaint of the temperature of the water. Stall for an extra towel. Feel of the water again. Shiver. Fidget on one foot. Stroke the surface of the water with the toes of one foot. Jump back writhing in utter horror. Shake the dirt off the shoes into the tub. Make a splashing and swishing noise with the bath-brush. Sprinkle the hair, face and neck. Dress leisurely. Come out for inspection. BSR: comicbooks.com