Life — August 10, 1922 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE MAN who carries a box of Melachrino Cigarettes knows that nobody can criticize his good taste. For forty- three years they have had the reputation of ex- clusiveness. MELACHRINO Cigarettes owe their world wide distinction and eferencetoan unusual selection of the choicest Turkish leaves grown, a distinction shared by no other cigarette. MELACHRINO “The One Cigarette Sold the World Over” “Seventeen dollars? But leather has gone down so!” “Exactly, madam, there is so little of it in this style.” —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Public Service “Wait for the car to stop, and don’t get on until it does stop!” yelled the conductor of an open surface car to a woman making desperate efforts to get aboard as the car slowed up slightly at a corner. “Well, why docsn’t it stop?” yelled the woman, as the car took on speed again and made off over the crossin “Well, why didn’t you jump on?” the conductor yelled back. —New York Evening Post. A Busy Executive Accountant (to Office Manager) : Have you a great deal to do here? Manacer: Well, I should say so. What little work there is I have to distribute among twenty people—that’s no easy task.—Kasper (Stockholm). Orator: And soon there will come a time when every man will do what he likes, and he’ll be made to if he doesn’t. —London Morning Post. | | To Roderick Dhu You eat the most unheard-of things; Your optimism, ever new, A sudden surge of hunger brings On finding something you can chev. No instinct wakes in you a question; It must be good, because you met it You eat and leave it to digestion, And frequently you then regret it, On puppy cakes you scorn to s Oh, foolish, grizzled Scotty p You nap, for choice, far down the hall, By shadows camouflaged from view, And people in a hurry fall, To canine keenings, over you Each day, in sudden bursts of glee, You break a dozen man-made laws, Then leap ecstatic on my knee And leave there prints of muddy paws. With sorrow then is filled your cup, Oh, foolish, grizzled Scotty pup! You think I’m deputy to God; You think I'm infinitely wise. The tail on which I lately trod Would thump if I should meet your eyes ; You never doubt that I am just. Although you may not understand, You take the punishment on trust And come to lick the scourging hand. With reverence your eyes look up, Oh, foolish, grizzled Scotty pup! —F. F.V., in New York Tribune. Fairy Dolls Late in the afternoon, the Settlement Worker returned to Harlem House. It was the swarming library hour. One small girl wanted. only fairy tales. When asked why nothing else would do, she said: “Because I read them to my dolls.” “How many have you?” And the little Serafina answered: “I can have as mi dolls as I want, if I believe in fairies.” —New York Sun. Mr. Pomp (to applicant for butler’s vacancy): Have you had any ex- perience? AppLicant: I have, sir. For three years I was butler to the Great Feature Film Company.—London Mail. $500.00 Cash for TWO NAMES A New Soap, manufactured only from the purest oils for use in the Toilet & Bath, and a New Soap Powder for the Laundry & Washing Machine. $250.00 cash will be paid by Manufacturer for each NAME selected and used. Contest open to every reader of Lire. Mail your suggestions early to Luckel, King & Cake Soap Co. 642 Hood Street Portland, Oregon OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST FOR g MEN comicbooks.com