Life, 1922-08-03 · page 6 of 36
Life — August 3, 1922 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a "Life's Calendar for August" — a humorous daily almanac mixing genuine historical facts with satirical observations about American life, 1920s-era. The page contains small woodcut illustrations paired with date entries. Notable entries include: - **August 2**: A joke about restaurant butter service (spread on corners, not just middle) - **August 9**: Harvard's "first commencement" — sarcastically claiming a woman ate candy during it - **August 14**: Dr. Hugo Tanner "first man to fill an inside straight" — a poker reference, illustrated with a gambling figure - **August 15**: Panama Canal opening, illustrated with a figure carrying cargo The cartoon style and entries mock American institutions, pretension, and everyday absurdities. The calendar blends genuine historical dates (Battle of Bennington, Missouri statehood) with fabricated or exaggerated "firsts" to create humor through anachronism and social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE fe Calendar August ~~ By Marc Connelly and George S. Kaufman 1—Tu—First national census; Smith fam- ily leaps into fame, 1790. First cable car ‘run in. San Francisco; Mrs. Emily J.’ Newhaus, 2346 Golden Gate Ave., gets off back- ward. wold fast! Frere’) 2.—W. —Restaurant serves order of buttered toast with butter spread on corners as well as in the middle, 1896. 3—Th— Palm round, 1492. Columbus s everybody but Beach suit fits, ils to prove world i Isabella leaving him flat, 1967. —F. —British capture Crown Point, 1759. James Moose, of Kansas City, proves before body of scientists that he knows difference between women’s summer and winter furs, 1920. —Sa.—Battle of Mobile Bay, 1864. Pencil manufac- turers begin making attached erasers out of concrete, 1917. 6.—Su.— (0) Detroit surrendered to British, Succeeding customer fails to pick up Unit coupons left on counter, 1907. Nicky Arnstein mentioned in conversation, 1924. 1812. Cigar s name —M.—Navy Department organized; ‘busses start’ go- ing” up. Riverside Drive so that people can see the battleships, 1789. Ingenue, greeting relative in play, doesn't back-kick, 1921. 8.—Tu.—Smith and Wesson patent_ modern _breech- loading metallic cartridge, 1854. Siasconsett, Mass., girl invents non-breakable straw for cherry-fishing in lem- onades, 1922. 9.—W. — @ First commencement at Harvard; H. L. Mencken hegins talking about the professors, 1642. Woman in Quincy, Ill, plucks piece of candy with tongs that came with box, 1902. 10.—Th.—Missouri shown into Union, 1821. Sewing machine patents granted simultancously to Singer and Wilson, 1851; no vaudeville show complete without joke about them, 1852-1910, incl. 11.—F, —Robert Ingersoll born, 1833; denies existence of Santa Claus, 1838. Wireless telephone patented, 1892. 12.—Sa.—Hawaii annexed by U. S., 7,625,398 dancers and musicians thereby becoming citizens, 1898, 13.—Su.—First story attributed toa Congressman Appears in New York newspaper,1875. Surrender of Manila, 1898. 14.—M.—Dr. Hugo Tanner, first man to fill an inside straight, born, 1836. Flypaper blown onto floor in Braddock, Pa., lands * with sticky side up, 1896. —Tu.—Panama_ Canal opened, 1914. Car- riage starters under rank of Major- General. appear. in front of New York hotels, 1920. 16.—W. — Battle of Bennington, 1777. New cook in Childs’ restaurant dies of stage fright, 17.—Th.—Clermont, first successful steamboat, starts for Albany, 1807. W. R. Hearst tries the same thing, 1° Pair of cotton stockings seen on New York street, 18—F, — Virginia Dare born, 1857. User of coin box telephone, on completing conversation, dovsn't put finger in return slot, 1919. 19.—Sa.—Five women hanged at Salem for witchcrait, 1692. Baldwin M. Willow, advertising expert, writes health food ad. without using “vi "1923. 20.—Su.—Benjamin Harrison born, 1833. Post-oflice truck goes so slowly that pedestrian can almost read “U. S. Mail” on its side, 1920. 21.—M.—Charles T. Whistle, only photographer who never took a picture of Mayor Hylan on City Hall steps, dies, 1922, 22.—Tu.— 4% “America” wins first cup race, 18: Stranger in New York searches two hours bef finding bootlegger, 1922 ’.—Oliver Perry, hero of Battle of Lake E born, 1785. Movie star “returns to spoken stage’ having actually been away from it, 1925. —Th.—Foundation of Capitol at Washington com- pleted, 1818. Mark Smith, the one on the right, gets shaved for last time, 1847: —First bank president begins posing for Fatima ads., 1920, Commission appointed to find out what has become of country’s mission furniture abandons re search, 1922. a— Claudius Martina, first man to wear pointed mustache, born, B. C. 456. Nineteenth Amendment effective (sic), 1921. —Su.—Battle of Long Island, 1776. J. Charles Button, composer of “Oh, How I Love That Little Mammy of Mine,” hanged for matricide, 1921. discovers and names St. Mae Murray appears in motion pic- , 1919 —M.—Menendez de Avilés Augustine, 1565. ture wearing a dre: First oolworth 29.—Tu.— QO Oliver Wendell Holmes born, 1809. Atlantic liner placed on end beside W Building to prove something, 1915. 30.—W.—Walter_ Montgom- > water plant while she is on vacation, remembers to do so, 1990, 31—Th—Earthquake at Charleston, S. C., 1886. Atlantic and “Pacific Tea Co. becomes great, 1890. comicbooks.com