Life — August 3, 1922 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DVICE to lovers of advanced season corn-on-cob: the first hundred ears are the hardest. aL The Senate is increasing the duty on California nuts, and the mo- tion picture industry is expected to complain. aL Coal men and railway men need not think the country is going to get interested in _ strikes. What the public is inter- ested in is hits. a: For President and Vice-’ President: Light wines and beer. Britannia may rule the waves, but the United States Shipping Board waives the rule. LL France emerges from the Dark Ages slowly. They have just put a woman in jail in Paris for having shot her husband. LL What the steel men want is open shops openly ar- rived at. LL The radio as a means of communication will never make a hit in Ireland. It lacks the element of per- sonal contact. LL The University of Texas A millionaire, dissatisfied with the “Star-Spangled Banner,” will pay $10,000 for a good successor. This certainly is a anthem offer. aL One way to get on your feet—sell your motor-car. Old Bill Nickel Our barber, Ed Plover, sez he don’t mind scrapin’ an acquaintance if he can do it with a razor. has lately unearthed in its library fifty-two portraits of cele- brated rulers of Mexico. It is to be hoped that the illustrious Mexican Pete is among them. LL Mr. Taft says that his cordial recep- tion in England was “a tribute to all Americans.” This, it would appear, is the ultimate joke about the gertle- man’s size, LL Tf it doesn’t look out the Republican administration will soon consist of just one Democratic congress after another. Secretary of War Weeks says ‘the time has come for us to return to light wines and beer. It is evidently orange-blossom time in Normalcy. Russia, it is said, is getting ready to play her last trump. But there seems to be a general feel- ing hereabouts that she reneged several years ago. LL What this country really needs is roomy troughs to read the Sunday papers in. There can now be no doubt of Mile, Lenglen’s supremacy as a tennis player, so long as someone doesn't catch her when she is a trifle off her gameness. L Poincaré wants 120,000 Germans to work for ten years to re- habilitate France. Well, if 120,000 Germans can do a certain piece of work in ten years, how long would it take one Ger- man, preferably the ex- Kaiser, to do the same job? LL The world’s prosperity it is announced at The Hague, “is now a para- mount object.” It’s won- derful how important those big motion picture companies are becoming. JL In European _ financia circles they are reviving the idea that the earth is flat. —L Shylock was about to ex- act the pound of flesh “I don’t know but what I'd rather have a quart of Scotch instead,” he told the court. It was at this point that Portia arose and de- livered her celebrated plea for mercy. aL Congress, judging by the ‘= tariff and some other characteristic measures, is getting ready to substitute the bludgeon for the budget. LL The college graduate begins by try- ing to reform the world; he ends by deciding that it isn’t worth re- forming. -L In the two years since Prohibition became a law, a lot has flowed over the dam that wasn’t water. LL Germany’s Ship of State seems t0 be the Moratorium. comicbooks.com