Life — July 27, 1922 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\ SS SN Whispers to Wives Of the Other Man HILE the husbands of lovely and lovable ladies are being drawn by Fate and their desire for change to other ladies, in no degree more lovely, lovable or loving, it is not to be supposed that Wives are feeling altogether disconsolate, nor sitting suitorless, either. Why in- deed should they? We know, if we take a moment to think, what birds find solace in the same sauce; a sauce not unconnected, perhaps, with the original apple. They may take to it for different reasons, and in its preparation one may be secretive and the other ostentatious; but if the Gander should indulge his longing for it the Goose will surely follow suit, and it is seldom that an attrac- tive female need look for new recipes. She will have them ready to her hand. Being herself older than the ages, woman will, if she cares to, find it far easier than man to dissemble. If she is conducting an affair with one eye on the effect it may produce upon her husband she will not dis- semble too much; the thing should be suspected. If, on the contrary, she is conducting it with the true in- terests of the other gentleman at heart, she will dissemble a good deal. It requires a fine amount of caution to be more cautious than most of the men one flirts with, but once let them be convinced that a lady is infinitely more discreet and jealous of appear- ances than they can possibly be, and there is almost no height to which they will not dream of flying. Pene- lope’s great hold upon her suitors was that she kept them not hopeful, but hopeless. She gave them noth- ing to run away from and plenty of apparently first-rate competition while they stayed, and Ulysses (who had really been having some most in- teresting experiences) came back with just the proper amount of in- dignation and turned them all out. Probably he felt the devil of a fel- low for doing it and valued her accordingly. Sapient Penelope! Would he ever have returned, one wonders, if some rumor of their persistence had not reached him? And how did it reach him? Every Wife should know how to convince an admirer that he is safe, while con- veying the contrary to a vagrant, but beloved, husband. Some Wives do. Cc. D. Pin-Money Reporter: And how did you get your start, Mr. Gotrox? . Gorrox: I started saving the pins the laundry sent back in my shirts. THE man who does not know what to do with his hands should not try to play bridge. A Ballade of Summer Camping ’M one of those lads who achieve a thrill Whenever they read of the Open Air, The forest primeval, the mountain rill; A campfire bright almost anywhere Far, far removed from an office chair— It makes me want to get up and roam, But the campfire smoke gets in my hair,— I think, this summer, I'll’ stay at home. It’s nothing to me if I’m lost on a hill, When all signs point to the pres- ence of bear; I was a Boy Scout and am sure that I will With compass and sightings get out of there; Nothing like that can give me a scare. But in Pinehurst, Lake Placid, Nort! Woods or Nome, I'm put on the black flies’ bill of fare,— I think, this home. summer, I'll stay a I never have thought a hotel cook's skill Could provide fodder fit to com- pare With bacon and eggs from a camp cook’s grill, Spiced with dew from the dawn- god’s lair (That last is something I’ve read somewhere), Served on a_ rocky dome, But sand in my coffee makes me swear,— I think, this summer, I'll stay at home. mountain’s Envoy Prince, you may tempt me with prospects fair Of vacationing trips—but I do not care; For the reasons I’ve hinted in this here pome, I think, this summer, I'll stay at home. A.C. M. A. comicbooks.com