Life — July 13, 1922 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I (il. Quit i Whispers to Wives Apropos of Knowledge E have lately read, with ele- vated eyebrows, an essay on the brainlessness of women. Full well did the duthor know how it would pique and provoke! Perhaps he even hoped that some lady would free herself from her sweet masque for a moment, with the impulse (natural if impolitic) of putting out her tongue at him. But no! In ab- solute indifference, O wise ones, has the treatise been allowed to pass. It was well done. On both sides it was well done. His, to lure into the open a force that might be lurk- ing in ambush. Theirs, to reserve that force;—which is the more potent for being concealed. But concealment need not go too far as between’ friends. So, knowing that none but the eye feminine will be- hold the quotation, let us remember this, “that in justice to men,— though to the larger and more trifling part of the sex imbecility in females is a great enhancement of their per- sonal charms,—there is a portion of them too reasonable, and too well- informed themselves, to desire any- thing more in woman than ig- norance.”” How noble, how beautiful is the broad-minded attitude! The step forward is granted as soon as made. But here, for the moment, it seems to stop, and this is where one con- gratulates the petticoated sex on its admirable policy, and begs it, no matter what the provocation, to con- tinue in the same until its life's end. Be beautiful, one admonishes women, and seem brainless, particularly those who are married. How can a man know more than his wife if she knows more than he does? And would such a condition of affairs be agreeable to him? It would not. It is indeed true that hardly any hus- band wishes his wife’s mind to be brimming with knowledge tractive picture! Naturally wants to fill a thing, she must keep it empty; and, assured of this, what faithful helpmate would present her- self with anything but a vacant cranium and a beaming smile? And what she thinks of while being in- structed, she need never tell. C.D: Separation DREAMED miles Were separating you from me; And just to hold you close again, I trudged the plains and swam the sea! that many weary I waked, and, reaching, touched your hand, But then remembered with a start, Not miles, but unforgivingness Is keeping you and me apart. B.YOW, Several Things at a Time (A Monologue) A Home, Occasio Annual Departure Time: — Fifty-ninth minute of Eleventh Hour. EVEN hat boxes. That's not right. There should be eight. Dear, what’s become of that other hat box—the one from Claire’s? Oh, I know you didn’t pack your shoes in it. Don't be ridiculous. I sim- ply asked you if you had seen it. If you had said you hadn’t, that would have sufficed. Run into the guest room, like a good boy, and see if it’s there. If it isn’t you might look somewhere else. I’m sure I packed my two new sport hats in it. Now, what am I going to do with these shoes? Dear! Oh, Ralph! Come here a moment. See if you can’t shut this bag for me, won't you, dear? I've been at it fully five minutes and I've broken two fingernails. The lid simply wouldn’t come anywhere near clos- ing. And, oh, before you begin you might try to get these four pairs of shoes in. .They won't take much room. And this sweater. I'll need it when I play tennis. I do wish you hadn’t sent the trunks off so soon. Here’s a raincoat that really should go, although you might ca that. And a pair of walking boots. And some handkerchiefs. And a bundle. That’s some wool for knit- ting. I’m going to do a lot this Summer. And this old skirt for hiking, that will be all, I think, ex- cept this bathing suit. I almost f got it. And, oh, yes, the dressing gown lying on the bed. Yes, that’s all. Definitely all. Don’t swear so dreadfully, dear. Jenny might hear you, and you know what servants are. The bag really can't be so hard to close as all that. There, I told you it would be easy. Oh, dear. Do you mind opening that blue hat box and getting me the little tan hat? I don’t like to wear this one on the train. It's much too good for traveling. No, not that. The little tan one. I know it's blue box, but it’s not the blue box | meant. Try the other one, that’s a good boy. Yes, that’s it. Thank you so much, dear. By the way, did you find that other hat box? I simply can’t start without it. We'll have to stay her¢ until it’s found. The only two hats I really need are in that box, comicbooks.com