Life — June 29, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE’S POET RACING CHART AT PARNASSUS Thousandth year of the Spring meeting of the Olympus Jockey Club. Weather clear, track fast. 678 FIRST RACE—The Hexameter Handicap. For 40-year-olds and upward. Claiming. Five and one-half volumes. At post years ago. Off years ago. Start good; finish rotten, Won easily. Starters Jockey PP St % Fin S P TRAGEDY (Shakespeare) 3 1 1 1 1-10 5-2 MIGHTY LINE (Marlowe) 1 2 3 2 2-5 5-2 OUTA LUCK (Lyly) 2 3 2 3 7-2 —_ Shakespeare had TRAGEDY well in hand and won going away. Marlowe clearly out- generaled Lyly and had OUTA LUCK in a bad pocket on the backstretch. 67! SECOND RACE—The Couplet. For 35-year-olds and upward, Four miles, straight- away rhyming. Alexander Pope won in a walk. Other entries scratched. 68 THIRD RACE—Victorian Stakes. For English thoroughbred poets. One volume. At post nineteenth century. Off on time. Start good; finish good. Won driving; place easily, Starters Jockey PP St % Al (Byron) 2 1 2 (Shelley) 4 2 1 (Keats) 3 4 3 (Tennyson) 1 3 4 DON JUAN smothered the field with speed. He got off running and ran around some- thing frightful. The women in the infield made a great fuss over him. Closed with a rush, while SKYLARK and EVE, with Shelley and Keats up, were jockeying for the place. 68] FOURTH RACE—New England Sweepstakes. For selling platers, Fifty cents added money. One mile of verse and seventy stanzas, At post comparatively recently. Off, thank heaven. Won easily; place same. Starters Jockey PP St Fin 8 P CHILDREN’S HOUR (Longfellow) 1 1 2 3 VISION OF LAUNFAL (Lowell) 3 3 ae | SNOW BOUND (Whittier) 2 2 4 *CYRANO DE BERGERAC (Rostand) 4 120-1 *CYRANO, an added starter, won by a nose. Longfellow had the mount on CHIL- DREN’S HOUR and gave it a hard ride, finishing easily in the place. SKELETON IN ARMOR, from the same stable, was scratched. 682 FIFTH RACE—Free Verse Handicap. For Greenwich Village mounts of uncertain vintage. Claiming. Fifty miles of metreless lines. At post to-day. Off to- morrow. Won limping; place same, only worse. Starters Jockey PP St P PURPLE PUP (Bobby Edwards) 1 1 _— GREEN COCKROACH (Harry Kemp) 3 2 3-1 DYNAMITE (Max Eastman) 2 3 2 — BLUE BRAINS (Guido Bruno) 4 4 5-4 GREEN COCKROACH pinched slightly in the stretch and was disqualified for conduct unbecoming a cockroach, PURPLE PUP was dying fast, but his color could not be changed. DYNAMITE, Eastman up, blew up at the turn, 683 SIXTH RACE—Women’s Steeplechase. For 40-year-olds. All entries refused the age. No starters, ST. AGNES E' IDYLLS OF KING Tt = 1- 1 2-: -3, -1 In the Illegitimate EGISTER anguish, said the movie script; Hold it for three hundred feet. The Organ Grinder E holds his monkey by a string That wraps around his finger- - ring; . While we look wondering at this mite Collecting nickels, left and right, I wonder if he likes his lot, Upholding Darwin on the spot,— This evolutionary knot. * * x I fixed my mind Upon the intellectual life Of the press agent And succeeded. The Murder in the Rue Nassau VER since whoever it was started it, the notion has per- sisted that a murderer must face the unbearable task of living out his life side by side with his conscience, Without the tradition that the guilty man must confess his crime to keep his peace of mind, where woul lit- erature be? Zip! would go another story of Edgar Allan Poe's. I am not the one to deal such a lethal biow at the great institution of literature. But I am, on the other hand, conscious of a moral duty transcending the obligation of with- holding that blow. I disclose the facts for the sole reason that others may thereby be encouraged to benefit the community in the same way, Previous to my erasure of K. Dodsworth Panks from the page of events, I had known him for some time, but the first definite impres- sion of him I can recall was re- ceived just after the passage of the Volstead Act. We had been dis- cussing it with some heat (I do not deny the man was tolerable in some respects) and he had concluded a really masterly diatribe with the words—"Don’t worry! It can't last! Americans won't stand for violations of personal liberty like that! Don't you worry—it'll be repealed!” I am frank to say that at the time I took some comfort from his in- junction, as who under similar cir- cumstances would not—as who, in- deed, did not? But later, after a similar conversation, his “Don’t wor- ry!” had not quite so reassuring a ring, and the third time even less. Shortly afterward came the busi- ness depression. I can only char- acterize what happened in my } ticular line by saying that it did not suffer so much from a depression as an artesian well. The bottom simply fell out of it. One day, hardly knowing why, I found myself pour- ing out my woes to K. Dodsworth Panks. We all know the feeling of having to open up to someone or ex- plode. Panks heard me out. When I had finished, he slapped me on the shoulder. “Shucks! don't worry about’a little thing like that!” he bugled. “Little slump’s nothing to worry about! Business’ll pick up before you know it! Anyhow, a rich guy like you should worry about losing a little kale!” mu had ver mol fort In to 1 kK. offic pete hoo comicbooks.com